Proof of Love
by Zephon75
Summary: Leonard returns from the North Sea to find things have changed and not in a good way
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I don not ow the characters just borrowing them.**

Leonard walked out of arrivals a little fatigued but glad to be back in LA and soon home to his friends and the woman he loved so much , he was a bit apprehensive though . The last time Penny contacted him had been quite a while ago and not only hadn't he heard from her but he hadn't heard from Sheldon either which was very strange. In fact the only person he'd heard from in weeks was Amy and she'd asked him if he was alright and had he heard from Penny after telling her he hadn't had any contact from anyone for weeks before she had emailed him. He found it strange having Amy contact him but that was nothing compared to her request for him to let her know when he coming back . When he had informed her of his return she had said she would pick him up from the airport , he had been hoping that Penny would. However Amy was insistent apparently she need to talked to him about something, so here he was walking through the airport on his way to meet Amy to see what she wanted . He continued his way through the airport lost in his thoughts he heard someone call his stopped and looked in the direction of the voice to see Amy waving at him he smiled and waved as he walked up to her.

"Hi Leonard welcome back how was your flight did you get any rest?"

"Nice to see you too Amy how have you been? hows are the others? ,i haven't heard from any of them?" Leonard noticed Amy's demeanor change something was bothering her."Amy is everything alright?".

Amy had been glad to see Leonard although they had never been close and her opinion had never been high of him but she did respect him and had grown to like him over the years. So she felt awful about what she was going to have to tell him but here was the wrong place for that conversation so with a forced smile she answered.

"No everything's fine i just have something i need to discuss with you"

Leonard was surprised Amy never discussed anything with him only Sheldon" Why me don't you usually ask Sheldon?".

"Normally i would but this is something i can't".

Leonard was starting to get a little worried, "Okay what do you want to discuss?".

"Leonard i don't think here is a good place for this conversation".

"So where do you suggest?".

"I think it's best if you come back to mine so it's in private!".

"Okay but i really can't stay long i'm looking forward to seeing Penny".

Amy kept herself composed she didn't want to reveal anything till she had him at her place "Don't worry Leonard once where done i'll take you to see Penny "she said with another forced smile.

Leonard nodded and followed Amy out the the airport to her car putting his luggage in the boot and getting in the passenger seat the drive to Amy's was quiet both lost in their thoughts Leonard wondering what was going was trying to figure out what she was going to tell Leonard she knew it was not going to end well. They arrived at Amy's and Leonard just followed her up to her apartment and then inside,Amy gestured for him to went to the kitchen to make herself a beverage

"Leonard would you like something to drink?"

Leonard had watched her the entire time she seemed nervous about something' _what was going on?_ ' he thought but a drink did sound nice. "Can i have coffee if you have any" he said with a smile.

"Actually i do ,i never used to but i know Penny loves to drink it so i started getting some."

After Amy had made him a cup of coffee and tea for herself she came and sat down looking down not saying anything Leonard was feeling a little uncomfortable with the silence so decided to ask Amy what she wanted to tell him so he could go and see Penny.

"Amy you said you had something you wanted to tell me?"

Amy looked at Leonard then thinking' _this was it she was going to have to tell him now, not sure how he would react'_ "Leonard while you where away Sheldon and i broke up"

Leonard was surprised to hear that but wondered why she she was telling him and more importantly why the need to do it in person but he had to say something. "Oh Amy i'm so sorry can i ask when it happened and why?you don't have to tell me if you don't want too".

"No it's okay it was a couple of weeks ago a few days before i emailed you,why well it turned out Sheldon had been cheated on me".

Leonard was shocked to say the least Sheldon not only had apparently found someone else but did it whilst still with Amy,what had been going on while he'd been away?. "Wow Amy that doesn't sound like Sheldon what did he say when he told you?"

Amy looked both sad and hurt when she responded "He said he couldn't be with me anymore as he realised he had feelings for someone else".

Leonard looked confused Sheldon had feelings for another woman who was she?how come he never knew about her. "Amy i can't think of anyone it could be that i know,do i know her?".

This was the part she was dreading and the reason she wanted to be alone with Leonard when she told him,Amy decided to respond with just one word "Yes"

Leonard sat there trying to think of who it could be,if he knew her as well as Sheldon it was limited to who it be he also knew it was a good chance the others knew who she was too including Penny. He started to wonder why Penny hadn't told him any of this, as she did love to gossip it was then Leonard got a sinking feeling in his stomach hoping he was wrong as he looked at Amy wishing it not to be true.

"Amy who is it?" Amy looked at Leonard she could see the fear in his eyes but she had to tell him"it's Penny".

 **A/N this is my first ever story i've tried to write so i apologise if it isn't any good,all reviews are appreciated and constructive criticism welcome.**

 **Also this isn't going to be a Shenny fic it will be Lenny,i have to know idea how often i'll be able to update sorry.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Thank you for the reviews they where much appreciated,i hope you like this chapter**

"It's Penny"

Leonard sat their completely still those words repeating over and over again in his head not being able to except what he'd been told. ' _How did this happen?'_ he thought he had never once seen Penny show any interest in Sheldon or Sheldon in her yet here he was after just being told that's what has happened. He tried to think if he had missed any signs over the years that they had some sort of attraction for each other but nothing came to mind.

Amy watched Leonard sit there she knew from Penny that he had a tendency to overthink things and she guessed that was what he was doing now probably trying to figure out what and why it happened . She waited a few more minutes before she decided to disturb his train of thought.

"Leonard are you okay?"

Leonard had been lost in his thoughts when Amy pulled him out he turned and looked at her "Not really when did you find out? what did Sheldon tell you?".

Leonard could see Amy's eyes filling with tears before she answered "It was a couple of weeks ago,he said the relationship was terminated" tears where now running down Amy's cheeks.

Leonard was on the verge of tears himself so decided to slide over and hug Amy to try and keep his composure. After a while Amy calmed down enough for Leonard to talk to her he gently released her and looked at her "Amy are you going to be alright?".

Amy was surprised by his concern given he was probably just as upset as she was over the situation if not more so,she nodded her head before replying. "Thank you Leonard i'll be alright i've had more time to come to terms with this than you,how are you still holding it together?".

"To be honest Amy i don't know, i think i might be still in shock over what you told me".

They sat quietly for a while before Amy decided to see what Leonard wanted to do "Leonard what do you want to do?".

Leonard looked at Amy he knew he had to get this over with "Amy can you take me to see Penny?".

"Are you sure you want to do that now?maybe you have a rest before you see her".

Leonard shook his head "No Amy, but i need to get this over with".

Amy nodded "Okay Leonard i'll take you to see her" they both got up and exited her apartment went down to Amy's car and drove in silence all the way to there destination it was when they arrived Leonard looked confused.

"Amy why have you brought me to Raj's?"

Amy pulled up outside and turned off the ignition before turning to Leonard "This is where Bernadette said they would be tonight".

Leonard sat there for a moment suddenly feeling to nervous to see her and him because that will make it all true to, Amy saw Leonard's nervousness. "Leonard are you sure you want to do this?".

Did he want to do this? no he didn't but he had too "I have to Amy, but can you do me a favour?".

Amy looked at him "Sure what do you need?".

"Can you come with please? "Leonard asked with a pleading look in his eyes.

Amy didn't want to see Sheldon or Penny, but she knew Leonard would need her support so she nodded

"Thank you Amy" Leonard said giving her a small smile, then got out the car with Amy following up to Raj's place.

* * *

Penny,Sheldon and Raj where sat having a meal that Raj had prepared for them, this had become the norm over the last couple of weeks,no more group meals. After the others had found out Howard had gotten mad and refused to speak to either of them Bernadette would still talk to Penny but wouldn't talk to Sheldon supporting her husband on that front,Raj was the only who didn't have a problem.

As they where sat there with Sheldon and Raj discussing something she had no idea about they where disturbed by a knock on the door, Raj got up to answer it and was surprised to see Leonard.

"Leonard your back welcome home dude "Raj said cheerfully happy to see him again, he then noticed Amy stood behind him "Oh hi Amy".

As soon as Penny heard Leonard's name her heart rate picked up, he was home earlier than he was supposed to be, but she was still actually looking forward to seeing him. She also heard Amy's name and reality hit her if he was with Amy he already knew, she just hoped he'd give her a chance to explain.

Leonard didn't know what to do he was sort of frozen to the spot just looking at Penny ' _God she looked beautiful_ ' he thought every time he saw her he was captivated by her even now after knowing what she'd done.

Penny couldn't take her eyes off Leonard either he look so rugged with his long curly her and thick beard,Penny smiled when she remembered the last time he'd looked like that. Her smile fell when she realised she won't be able to jump him with a kiss this time, no this time she was a cheater and he probably wanted nothing to do with her. But she knew they needed to talk so she could explain what happened and it wasn't his fault, because she knew he was probably going to blame himself for what happened. She decided they where going to deal with now "Leonard" she said quietly but loud enough to be heard "Can we talk?" to her surprise Leonard nodded but stopped looking at her casting his eyes down to the floor.

 _'It was a good start '_ Penny thought he was willing to talk to her but she didn't want to it here in front of the others "Raj can we use your bedroom?".

Raj nodded "Of course go ahead".

Penny moved towards the bedroom hoping Leonard would follow, Leonard turned to look at Amy who had remained outside "Amy can you wait for me i won't be long".

"I don't know Leonard i'm uncomfortable being here" Leonard understood he didn't want to be here himself "Do you want to wait in your car?" he was relieved when she nodded then left.

Leonard walked slowly to the bedroom Raj touched his shoulder and gave him a reassuring smile,he heard Sheldon say something but just ignored him

not wanting to look or listen to Sheldon.

Penny was sitting on the edge of Raj's bed waiting for Leonard to come in becoming more nervous with every second that went by, knowing what was going to tell him. When Leonard walked in he gave her a quick look before turning to close the door behind him, but when he turned around he didn't move he just stood there looking at the floor.

They stayed like that neither of them saying anything for awhile, until Penny couldn't take the silence anymore and said the first thing that came to her mind.

"I'm sorry"

 **A/N okay that's the second chapter i apologise if it's boring but i needed to have something before Penny tells Leonard how she ended up with Sheldon.**

 **i'll try and write and post it up tomorrow,all criticism good or bad are welcome and so are suggestions.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N I apologise for the delay i've been having trouble with how to write this chapter and i'm still no entirely happy with it.**

 **Thank you to everyone who reviewed my previous chapter,and Thanks SRAM for your help and suggestions.**

"I'm Sorry"

Leonard knew she was being sincere but it didn't help, he was barely holding it together being alone with her now was what he'd been looking forward too till Amy told him what had happened. Now he just wanted to run ,run away and not look back, however somehow he found the strength to stay because if he ran he would always wonder why. It was then he realised he had been caught up in his own thoughts and hadn't acknowledge her, but he didn't know what to say so just nodded his head still looking down whilst rubbing his hands together.

Penny was watching him intently, he had nodded when she said she was sorry but his demeanor reminded her of how he was when she first met him avoiding eye contact and nervously rubbing his hands together. Seeing him like this broke her heart knowing this was all her fault and she knew worse was yet to come because she still had explain things to him. She waited a few minutes to see if he would say something but when he didn't she decided to start the conversation.

"Leonard will you and sit next to me please?".

Leonard nodded again then slowly edged to towards the bed sitting down with a gap between them Penny watched Leonard make his way over to the bed and sit facing towards the door. As though to make sure of a quick escape if need be . Penny reached her hand out to touch him but stopped herself as she didn't know how he'd react so she just rested it on the bed in between them as a invitation to take if he wants.

"Leonard i never meant to hurt you,you believe me don't you?"

Leonard replied in whisper "I thought you loved me".

Eyes welling up with tears ' _I do love you_ ' she thought but never said it thinking he wouldn't believe that if she told him now. "Leonard i know you probably think this your fault but it's not i promise".

Leonard finally looked at her with a hurt pleading look "Then what happened?, what made you want Sheldon over me? ; why didn't you tell me before i got back?".

Penny was crying now "It was a mistake that escalated and i was confused i don't know".

"You don't know"scoffed Leonard "I'm pretty sure you do know, how about you just tell me how it all started then?".

Penny nodded trying to compose herself "Okay you had been on your expedition for about a month".

* * *

Penny was getting comfortable in Leonard's bed,she had been missing him like crazy of late so decided sleeping in his bed with all his stuff around and his still lingering scent would comfort her. Sheldon had at first protested but after glaring at him and telling him as Leonard's girlfriend she was entitled to sleep in his bed and Leonard wouldn't mind if she did. She ended up just walking past him a proceeding to Leonard's room, Sheldon had been saying something to her as she she made her way through the apartment. She tried to remember what Sheldon's comment was when she made her way in here. it was something about a temporary _agreement' There was no way she was signing anything'_ she thought.

She eventually drifted off to sleep unfortunately a few hours later Penny was woken from her sleep by someone knocking.  
knock knock knock "Penny"  
knock knock knock "Penny"  
knock knock knock "Penny"

Penny grumbled "what do you want Sheldon?".

Sheldon entered Leonard's room without being invited "I had a nightmare"

Penny was slighly annoyed by Sheldon not only waking her up but just walking into the room, but he looked so scared from his nightmare she soon felt sorry for him. "Oh i'm sorry sweetie,but what do you want me to do?".

"When i have nightmares Leonard lets me sleep with him".

Penny's eyes went wide at hearing this "You're joking right?".

"Not at all,it's the only way i can get back to sleep".

Penny just stared at him"You're not getting into bed with me Sheldon".

"But I need to sleep otherwise it will throw my whole routine off".

Penny sighed in defeat "You're not going to let me sleep till I let you aren't you?".

"Penny I think we both know the answer to that".

"Penny just groaned but relented wondering what Amy and Leonard would think but her need for sleep won out "Fine get in but just this once".

It turned out to be regular thing he was having a lot of nightmares about Leonard, Penny guessed it was downed to him missing his best friend.

One evening a few weeks later Penny was keeping Sheldon company, but was rather bored he was watching some old sci-fi movie and she had no idea what was going on in it. After a while she decided she would have some wine to relax whilst keeping Sheldon company, getting up she heard Sheldon sigh she guessed her getting up was enough to disturb his enjoyment of the movie.

"I'm just going to get ready for bed and get some wine"

Sheldon just let out another sigh and continued to watch tv,ignoring his sigh Penny left making sure to walk behind the tv as not annoy Sheldon over to her apartment the thought of wine was becoming a lot more appealing to her.

Penny had come back after getting a few bottles of wine deciding one wouldn't be enough and was currently nearing the end of her third glass and was getting quite the buzz. Unfortunately she was still slightly bored luckily Sheldon's movie was finished,then she had a idea.

"Sheldon would you like a glass of wine?"

Sheldon looked at her as if she had two heads "Penny you know i avoid drinking alcohol no good comes from it".

She looked at Sheldon with a sad expression "Please Sheldon i don't want to drink on my own".

"Then the simple solution is don't drink" Sheldon said.

Penny thought of a idea "Sheldon didn't you promise Leonard you would take care of me?".

Sheldon was wondering where she was going with this "Yes".

Penny smiled "Then i need you to take care of me now by having a drink with me".

Sheldon didn't want to but he had promised he would take care of her, and he reasoned one glass won't do much damage. "Fine but just one glass".

A While later they where near the end of the third bottle of course Penny had drunk most of it, but Sheldon was quite drunk as well and decided it was his bed time. A rather drunk Penny slumped in Leonard's chair took a while to realise Sheldon had gone to bed feeling quite tired herself she staggered to Leonard's room to sleep it off.

Sheldon woke from a nightmare but was, he still quite tipsy made his way to Leonard's room, however before knocking he realised in her inebriated state she would be angry if he woke her up. Thinking it over the best he could he opted to go in without knocking , reasoning she had been letting him stay so would of probably let him stay if he'd had of asked her.

Some time later Penny was having a naughty dream about Leonard that was turning her on, bringing her slightly out of her slumber she turned over and felt a body next to her . Still somewhere between dreaming and awake she leaned in and starts kissing him on the neck before moving to kiss him on the mouth. Her hands went up around his neck to play with his curls ,she frowns when she can't feel them , so she pulls away and finally more awake opens her eyes to see Sheldon looking at her shocked. The realisation of what she was just doing or more importantly what she was planning to do, she quickly got out of Leonard's bed. Making her way back to her apartment trying to hold back the tears from falling,when she finally reached the sanctuary of her own bed , she breaks down completely sobbing her heart out ,while repeating over and over again "I'm sorry Leonard".

 **A/N okay that's chapter three like i said at the top i'm not entirely happy with it but i hope it explains some of what happened in the next i'll cover the fallout from this and Sheldon's reaction.**

 **All criticisms are welcome good or bad and yes even angry,if you have any suggestions or ideas please feel free to PM me.**

 **Thank you for reading :)  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:Thankyou for all your reviews: and thanks to SRAM again for the help and changes**

 **This Chapter will focus solely on Sheldon.**

Sheldon watched as Leonard followed Penny, his ex-girlfriend, into the bedroom, shaking his head at the thought of such a scene, never did he imagine calling the blonde simpleton from Nebraska his girlfriend, but he was doing just that. He couldn't deny she was aesthetically pleasing but conversation with her was so like having to watch uninformative reality tv shows. Having to listen to her talk about things that didn't interest him and did not mentally stimulate him was nothing like he had with Amy. Where their conversations where always interesting and fun, like when she would play counterfactuals with him something Penny didn't or couldn't even understand. He had to admit to himself he missed Amy and he cursed himself for ever putting himself in a predicament where the outcome meant losing her, but being a logical person he knew that's what happened.

After Penny left:

Sheldon got up and walked into the living room, sitting down in his spot,where he went over what had just happened. His mind was not completely clear from the alcohol he had drunk earlier so his emotions, something he had always repressed, were having a big impact on his thoughts. So, he couldn't understand why he hadn't stopped Penny from not only touching him but kissing him on the lips and after about a hour of going over it, in his mind, he logically concluded that he must have some feelings for her. There was no other explanation he could come to, it had to be the reason that he didn't stop the kiss, he must have been habouring feelings for her and with this conclusion he knew he would now have to go and tell Amy about his findings. He then looked over at the clock, it was way too early go over to see Amy, so he decided to just do some work till later. When it would be more appropriate to see her, because when he had done this before she had told him that she needed her sleep.

Sheldon had finally arrived at Amy's after having to put on his bus pants,and catch a bus, having no other transportation since Penny's situation with him in the bedroom.

knock knock knock"Amy"  
knock knock knock"Amy"  
knock knock knock"Amy"

A very tired looking Amy answered the door "Sheldon what do you want it's not even 8am,and why are you wearing your bus pants?".

"I had no choice i needed to see you and no one was available to give me a lift".

"Okay that explains the bus pants but not why your here?".

"Amy i'm here to terminate our relationship".

Amy was suddenly wide awake "What...why do you want to do that...have i done something wrong?".

"Amy this morning whilst in bed with Penny" he didn't get to finish because he was cut off by Amy "WHAT WHERE YOU DOING IN BED WITH PENNY!" she practically screamed.

Sheldon was taken aback by her tone, but calmly continued with his explanation, "We've been sleeping together for a few weeks now".

"WHAT" Amy was really shouting now "WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?".

"Well before you cut me off i was going to tell you we engaged in a escalating osculation"

Amy was now in tears she'd just been told by her sweet baboo that he's been sleeping with Penny and kissing her .

The only word she could get out was "why?"

Sheldon wanted to offer Amy a hot beverage, because she was sad, but wasn't in a position to do since they were at her apartment, so with a bit of frustration just answered her last query.

"I went over all the data this morning and have come to the conclusion that I am have feelings for Penny".

Amy just stared at Sheldon for a moment before replying coldly, "the relationship is terminated" and then proceeded to slam the door in Sheldon's face.

Sheldon blinked a few times wondering what to do next before turning to leave and then catching the bus home to now talk to Penny.

However when he arrived at the door to 4b he was uncertain how to proceed so after looking at the time he decided to wait till at least pass 11am, because, after all, he did not want to risk a punch to the throat. It also gave him time to prepare for what he was going to do after he told Penny about his findings.

Sheldon walked into his apartment and as he was closing the door his phone beeped with a text, so he pulled it out of his pocket and saw it was from Howard.

 **"I can't believe what you and Penny did! My wife is in tears after getting off the phone with Amy.I don't want to ever see either of you again after what you've done to Amy and Leonard, your supposedly best friend. You are dead to me and Bernadette, don't even dare come near me at work".**

Sheldon was a little surprised by the text but wasn't too bothered since it was only Howard after all , who was merely a acquaintance, although he had already lost Amy. So now losing Howard and apparently Bernadette was depriving him of half his social group leaving him only Penny, who he still had to talk to, and Raj and Leonard, though he suspected he'd had lost Leonard as well.

But these continuing friendship and relationship problems actually seemed overly complicated and Sheldon decided they weren't worth the time to think about them so he went over to his laptop too do some work to pass the time. He'd only just gotten started when his phone beeped again now frustrating him at being disturbed this time, but since it could be important he had to look at the text, and this time it was Raj.

 **"Dude I just heard from Howard, you and Penny hooked up? I can't believe that happened, although I doubt it was as good as mine and Penny's crazy naked night"**

Sheldon just shook his head, that sounded typical of Raj, but at least he hadn't said he didn't want anything to do with him so it appeared that he was one of his social group he had still. However being distracted by social problems again was disturbing to him, so he purposely cleared his mind and began working on his laptop again.

After working a while, past 11 AM, it occurred to him that he arrived at the time to go to speak to Penny, so he finished what he was doing, got up and made his way over to 4b.

knock knock knock"Penny"

knock knock knock"Penny"

knock knock knock"Penny"

Sheldon repeated his ritualistic knock a few times before a clearly disheveled and still clearly upset Penny answered the door.

"What do you want Sheldon?"

"Penny after you left, last night, I had some time to think over what happened and after a logical analysis came to the conclusion that I have feelings for you"

Penny looked at Sheldon wide eyed in disbelief, "You have feelings for me?"

"Yes all the evidence points to that conclusion." then before Penny could react he stepped forward and kissed her.

 **Thank you for taking the time to read this chapter I hope you enjoyed it the next one will go back to Penny.**

 **All reviews are welcome good or bad again any suggestions feel free to PM me your ideas.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:Thank you to everyone who reviewed my last chapter they where much appreciated**

Penny had been lying on her bed sobbing for awhile now completely devastated at what had happened, she hated cheaters having had it happen to her a few times worst being when Kurt had done it. Yet here she was the very thing she hated most ,hers might of been a mistake due to the amount of wine she drunk but it didn't change the fact she had. She couldn't get it out of her mind what would of happened had she not noticed the lack of his soft curly hair how far would it of gone,she didn't like the answer she came too.

After a while when she had calmed some she decided she needed someone to talk too so she slowly moved over to her nightstand to pick up her phone thankful that she left it here yesterday.

Dialing the number for the person she hoped could help her, she waited for her pick up,finally she answered "Hello".

"Hi Cheryl it's Penny".

"Penny what are you ringing me for at this time in the morning?, more importantly what are you doing up?" ask Cheryl.

"Cheryl i screwed up and i don't think Leonard will ever forgive me for what i've done" tears coming back to her eyes.

Cheryl was still waking up but hearing what Penny said and now the crying she was now fully awake.

"Penny why do you think that? what did you do?".

"I'd had quite a bit of wine to drink and was having a erotic dream about Leonard".

"I don't see anything wrong with that" Cheryl cut in.

"Will you let me finish first" Penny snapped.

"Sorry sorry carry on".

"Anyway like i was saying, during the dream i turned over and felt someone next to me thinking it was Leonard i started caressing there body and started kissing them. It was only when i couldn't feel his curls that i knew something was wrong so when i opened my eyes i saw it was Sheldon and freaked out. Then went back to my apartment and broke down crying on my bed till i called you.".

"Wait you where in bed with Sheldon and then started making out with him? the tall skinny guy who comes to the cheesecake factory ,and is completely anal about his order? " asked a slightly confused Cheryl.

All this being brought up again made Penny depressed about what she did again she started to cry even harder, it took awhile to calm down before she replied.

"I was in Leonard's bed with Sheldon yes i made out with Sheldon, but i thought he was Leonard it was a mistake, but it doesn't change the fact that i cheated on him, you know how much i hate cheaters. Yet here i am cheating on the the guy i love more than any guy before , this will shatter his heart and i've probably lost him forever because of this especially since it was with his best friend".

"You should talk to him he might forgive you" Cheryl replied sympathetically.

"I can't" Penny said sadly "if i can't forgive myself how can i expect him too"

Cheryl sighed "I don't know what to tell you, yes you cheated on him and it being a mistake won't change that.,i can't tell you how he'll react because you know him better than i do .

"He'll hate me" Penny said in barely a whisper.

Cheryl felt sorry for Penny, she wished she could help her but she seemed determined wallow in her belief that she had lost the love of her life.

"Penny i wish there was something i could tell you to make you feel better, but this is something your going have to come to terms with on your own".

"I understand thanks anyway, bye Cheryl" with that Penny hung up her phone but before she put it down she noticed she had a voicemail, pressing the key to listen to who it was from .

It was from Amy" Penny i can't believe you've been sleeping with Sheldon and making out with him, how could you do that to me you stole my boyfriend. I thought you where my bestie but now you mean nothing to me, you're a nothing but a cheating slut and if you don't tell Leonard what you did i will".

Penny didn't know how long she sat there holding her phone, all that she could hear going over and over again in her mind was Amy's words" You're a cheating slut". Penny didn't think she could feel any worse but she was wrong having Amy say that to her magnified her guilt over what had happened. Penny wanted no needed to be comforted but unfortunately the only person who always made her feel better was not here and what she'd done to him was the reason she felt this way.

A few minutes later her phone wrong again she was in no mood to answer it but found the strength do it anyway,it was Bernadette.

"HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO LEONARD AND AMY WHAT WHERE YOU THINKING?" Bernadette shouted sounding a lot like Howard's mother.

Penny closed her eyes and tried to stop the tears from falling all over again,but it didn't work.

"I'm sorry it was a accident" was all Penny could get out.

"ACCIDENT OR NOT YOU SHOULDN'T OF ALLOWED YOURSELF TO GET YOURSELF INTO THAT SITUATION , YOU SCREWED UP BIG TIME. I DON'T THINK I CAN BRING MYSELF TO HANG OUT WITH YOU AND HOWARD SAYS HE DOESN'T WANT TO SEE YOU EITHER GOODBYE PENNY" . With that Bernadette hung up, Penny was on a roll she'd lost 3 friends today and the love of her life.

Penny lay there trying to get some sleep but with everything that happened she just couldn't it didn't help now that she was getting a headache from all the wine she had.

So it took her awhile to drift off but what felt like only five minutes later she was disturbed by a knock at the door. She knew who it was and chose to ignore while lying there hoping he would leave she thought 'at least he wants to still talk to me' so she slowly got and made her way to the door.

Penny opened her door to see just who she knew would be there.

"What do you want Sheldon?"

"Penny after you left last night,I had some time to think over what happened and after a logical analysis came to the conclusion that I have feelings for you"

Penny looked at him wide eyed in disbelief ' _Did she hear right, did Sheldon say he had feelings for her?'_ she thought.

"You have feelings for me?" still not able to get over what he'd just told her.

"Yes all the evidence points to that conclusion" came his reply .

Still in shock over what he'd just confessed to her she wasn't prepared to feel his lips on hers, she knew it was wrong , but she was feeling vulnerable and her need to be comforted by anyone at that moment prevented her from stopping the kiss.

* * *

"That's how it all started".

Leonard just sat there trying to process everything Penny had just told him he just couldn't understand it at all, he could feel his emotions where bubbling up inside him mostly betrayal and anger yes definitely anger. If she was telling the truth that kissing Sheldon was a accident and he believed her if it was just that he could of forgave her for that , but why had she agreed to let him share a bed with her?. Sure he had let Sheldon stay with him but that was different, i mean if Sheldon or Penny had found him sharing a bed with Amy neither would of been particularly happy no matter how innocent. His biggest problem was Sheldon not only telling Penny he had feelings for her but actually initiating a kiss which apparently Penny chose not to stop. which was how there relationship had started, did she even give it a second thought about how all this would effect me?. Clearly she didn't however there was two questions he needed answers too and just thinking about them made him nauseated.

Penny just sat and watched Leonard, as he sat there clearly going over everything she just told him waiting for him to say something.

Leonard decided to get this over with, hoping she answered them even though he as now her ex and didn't really have a right to ask her , but he didn't care he was going to ask regardless.

"Penny have you and Sheldon you know?" he finally asked nervous of her reply.

Penny looked at him puzzled until she realised what he was asking, making her eyes go wide ."Oh god no, while he might of progressed to kissing he's still Sheldon"

Leonard nodded feeling relief wash over him,glad that they hadn't even though it was none of his business now.

Penny watched him nod, no she hadn't had sex with Sheldon and even if he did want to do it she wasn't going to do it, there was only one man she wanted to make love too, that man was the man sitting next to her. But he wasn't hers anymore so she'll just have to do what she's been doing whilst he was away use what Sheldon thought was a chew toy if need be.

Leonard steeled himself for his next question this one could shatter what was left of his heart but just like the last one he needed to know.

"Penny do you have feelings for Sheldon?"

Penny had been hoping Leonard would ask this question, it gave her a way to set him free and move on with his life.

"Leonard yes i do have feelings for Sheldon i think i might be falling in love with him" Penny said while avoiding eye contact.

Leonard looked at her eyes going wide in disbelief she had feelings for Sheldon worse she was falling in love with him, how could this happen? had she been in love with Sheldon secretly all along?. It would explain why she's falling in love with now,and it could explain why it took her so long to tell him she loved him,that's if she ever really did. Leonard knew he needed to get out of there before he completely broke down,and he was determined not to do it in front of her.

So Leonard stood and moved quickly out the bedroom towards the front door, ignoring what Raj and Sheldon where saying , opening the door and slamming it behind him he moved down the hallway for a bit. Before stopping and leaning against the wall sliding down to the the floor, his life in Pasadena would never be the same again,with that thought he finally aloud the tears to flow as he broke down sobbing.

Penny had looked up as soon as Leonard had got up and watched him leave the bedroom closing the door behind him . With tears streaming down her face She pulled on the chain around her neck to reveal the heart shaped locket bringing it up to her lips to kiss it,before whispering.

"I'm sorry Leonard for lying to you just now but you deserve to be with someone better than me,you are the love of my life and my heart will be forever yours".

With that she lay back on the bed allowing her grief to consume her as the tears flowed she wondered if she would ever see Leonard again.

 **Thank you for reading this chapter i hope it was okay this was the longest chapter i've done Please.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter.**

After a few minutes on the floor sobbing Leonard just felt drained, but he knew he couldn't just stay there or he'll end up running into Penny and Sheldon when they left Raj's. So with all the strength he could muster he picked himself off the floor and left the building making his way to Amy's car.

When Leonard got to Amy's car he just got in without saying a word and after fastening his seat belt he just closed his eyes. Wishing that everything he just went through since he came back was just a dream. Amy had just watched him silently get into her car , after a moment she wanted to see how he was.

"Leonard how are you?".

Leonard just sighed not opening his eyes, but still answered her.

"If it's alright i'd rather not talk about it now,i just need to rest actually i have to find somewhere to stay for the night".

"You can stay at mine if you like you can use the couch".

Leonard finally opened his eyes and turned to Amy and smiled "Thanks Amy but i need to be alone right now,can you just take me to a hotel?".

Amy just nodded and started her car she knew first hand how Leonard was feeling , to be betrayed by your best friend and the person you love was devastating .

They drove for a while with his eyes still closed Leonard didn't notice that they had arrived at the hotel he had been lost in his thoughts, so it startled him when Amy touched his shoulder.

"Sorry didn't mean to scare you Leonard but where here."

Leonard just looked at her then out the window before unbuckling his belt and getting out of the car then turning around to speak.

"Thanks Amy for everything, can you do me a favour and not tell anyone where i'm staying i want to be left alone".

Amy nodded "Sure Leonard but i'm sure Raj has probably told them your back so the bound to contact you".

"I know but i can deal with that, but not there company at the moment" With that he went to the trunk to get his luggage, then walking to the hotel turning to Amy and waving goodbye before going in side.

After getting to his room and getting a quick shower he just climbed into bed but wasn't able to sleep, he was still going over everything that had happened and what Penny had told him. If it had been just a kiss he could of forgiven her, besides he had his own confession about a kiss that he never got to tell her about,but he guessed that doesn't matter anymore. Sharing a bed with Sheldon bothered him a little but again he could of gotten passed that as well, he knew that meant nothing to her as she was just taking care of him like she has since the first year they met .However what he couldn't get passed though was that Sheldon had said he had feelings for her and then kissed her, he never imagined that from him and that was how there relationship started. A guy who said he was his best friend had stole his girlfriend whilst he was away on his expedition, worse she had let it happen,he was angry about this how could they do that to him?. But the thing that had crushed his heart was her telling him she might be falling in love with Sheldon he just couldn't understand that, it had taken her a long time to tell him she loved him, yet she thought she was with Sheldon after only a couple of months something just didn't add up with that. He let out a sigh because he knew even after what she'd done he still loved her and if she walked into this room right now and told him she loved him and ask him to forgive her he would. He knew that made him look pathetic but it was Penny, he had loved her since the moment they met and would probably love her to the end of time. With this thought he realised he needed to make some changes to his life a fresh start without his beloved Penny, and hopefully be able to move on, with this he drifted off into a restless sleep knowing tomorrow would be the first day of his new life.

* * *

Penny was glad when she got back to her apartment after Leonard had walked out she just wanted to get home, she walked into her bedroom and slowly got undressed and got into the shower. Finally allowing her tears to fall again, the feeling of despair washing over her this time it wasn't what she'd done to Leonard that caused it but the feeling she would never see him again.

After been in the shower for awhile the tears finally receding she got out dried herself off before finding something to wear, she went over to her drawers she pulled out a pair of shorts before rummaging for a particular top to wear. Eventually finding it stuffed at the back it was one of Leonard's t-shirts pulling it on and up to her nose it still smelled like him. She climbed into bed but before getting comfortable she reached over to her nightstand opening the drawer to pull out the red velvet pouch. As she settled back down she pulled out the preserved snowflake, remembering when Leonard gave it to her, it was the most romantic thing anyone had ever done and he'd made it for her without knowing how she felt about him. A sad smile graced her lips as she put it back in it's pouch before holding it against her heart ,wishing they where still together so she could be in Leonard's arms right now.

* * *

The next morning Leonard woke up early even though he was still tired having had a restless nights sleep, he was up determined to put his plan to change his life in to action. He picked up his phone noticing he had a few messages from Howard, Bernadette ,Amy, Raj and he gasped Penny had sent him a message. He was torn on whether or not to read it, so he decided to read the others first give him time to think.

From Raj:" **Hey Leonard i hope you are okay , sorry we didn't get to catch up last night maybe we can at work?".**

From Amy: **Hi Leonard do you want to meet up later and talk?".**

From Bernadette: **"Leonard i'm glad you're back i'm so sorry you found out that way, do you want to come over and maybe talk about it?".**

From:Howard **"Hey buddy Raj told me your back, i don't know what to say, but if you wanna talk i'm here for you".**

Leonard sighed they all wanted to talk to him but he really wasn't sure if he wanted too, but he knew he'd have to talked to them at some point so decided to do it all at once.

From Leonard to all of them **"Hi guys thanks for the messages how about we all meet at Bernadette's apartment this evening say 7?".**

They all sent him a text confirming they would.

Finally the only one left was the one from Penny,he sighed he still didn't know what to do so he decided he would ask the guys when he sees them tonight.

* * *

Penny woke up still clutching her snowflake she grabbed her phone to see if she had a text from Leonard, during the night she had woken up feeling the need to contact him. Her heart sank when she saw she had received no reply from Leonard, she'd hoped he still cared enough to respond but she guessed she was fooling herself.

She needed to enjoy herself to take her mind off of everything so text Cheryl **"Hey Cher do you wanna go out clubbing tonight?".**

From Cheryl: **"Sure Penny but what brought this on?".**

To Cheryl:" **Leonard's back".**

* * *

 **A/N:i apologise if this isn't that good but i thought i needed to have them both go over how they where feeling when they where completely alone.**

 **Review Please**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N Thank you to everyone who reviewed my last chapter.**

Leonard was stood outside the hotel waiting for Amy to come pick him up for the get together at Bernadette's, he wasn't particularly looking forward to it them asking how he was. However was he was looking forward to seeing them as he hadn't seen Howard and Bernadette yet since he got back. But Leonard's mood wasn't great as the start of his new life hadn't gone as well as Leonard had hoped it would he had made a list of things he was going to do.

1:Find new apartment

2:Retrieve car from outside old apartment

3:Collect all his belongings from old apartment

4:Start to eat more healthier no more takeout food

5:Start exercising

6:Change the way he dressed/looked

7:Learn to socialise

He hadn't found a apartment yet so he couldn't collect his belongings as for his car he'd have to ask someone probably Raj to get his keys which where in his old apartment and bring his car to Caltech for him . As for eating more healthier it would mean cooking his own food but he wasn't good at cooking so he'd need to learn maybe take a cooking class ,but in the mean time he'd have find alternative take outs. The exercising that was a scary one, he didn't have a clue as how to go about doing this, plus he didn't want to embarrass himself again like he did in front of Mrs Davis .The way he looked and dressed he didn't know which way to go with this as he'd been dressing this way for most of his life. He supposed a change was in order maybe if he dressed more normally he might attract more female shook his head at this thought he didn't want that anytime soon so he'd leave changing his dress sense till last.

He was brought out of his thoughts by the arrival of Amy, he quickly got in the car and they headed off to Bernadette's the journey was filled with comfortable silence and the occasional small talk about uncomplicated stuff.

They soon arrived at there destination getting out of the car and making there way up to Bernadette's knocked on when the door opened he was greeted by Bernadette. But before he could say anything she had moved forward and hugged him after a few seconds she finally let go before looking up at him with a sad smile and eyes that where welling up.

"Welcome back Leonard it's so good to see you, i'm so sorry about what happened i can't believe she did that to you" Bernadette said now with tears falling.

"Thanks Bernadette, it's good to see you too".

"Hey buddy you okay?" Howard asked as he came to put his arm round his wife.

"I will be it's just going to take awhile".

"Well where here for you ,if you ever want to talk ,but for now come on in make yourselves comfortable".

Leonard and Amy made there way in and sat sat down at the table which Raj was already sat at Howard and Bernadette Brought over the food before sitting themselves.

They had a pleasent conversation over dinner, mainly catching up Leonard on things they had been up to, after a while the conversation turned to Leonard and his expedition and what it was like to be at sea for four months.

Bernadette had been watching Leonard the whole time trying to gauge how he was feeling because she wanted to seemed happy in the company of his friends so she decided the time was right to ask him.

"Leonard Raj told us you spoke to Penny yesterday before leaving in a hurry, did she tell why she did what she did?".

Everyone just stopped talking and looked at Bernadette who was starting to wish she hadn't said anything.

"Bernie we can't ask him that it's too soon" Howard hissed at her.

"Why not,you all want to know as well so stop looking at me like that".

Howard was about to say something but was cut off by Leonard "No it's okay yes she told me about it" Leonard said now looking down at his hands.

Bernadette reached across the table to touch Leonard before asking "Do you want to talk about it? we're all here for you" Bernadette said receiving nods from the rest.

Leonard thought for a moment ' _Maybe getting there opinion on what she told him could help_ ' he nodded "Okay what do you want to know?".

Bernadette sat back "Just tell us what you feel like sharing".

And so he did Leonard told them everything Penny had told him about what happened that night and what Sheldon had said to her, they all sat there quietly listening to what he was telling them. Until now they only had what Amy had told them ,this new information shed a new light on what happened that night between them and how Penny was feeling.

After he had finished Bernadette was first to speak "Well that does sound like it was a mistake, that she never meant to happen but it doesn't explain Sheldon's actions".

"I know i would of forgiven her for the kiss and letting Sheldon share a bed with her, because i made a similar mistake". Leonard said receiving shocked looks from all of them.

"What did you do?" asked Howard.

"Well one night we where partying and i got a little drunk and started to feel seasick, when one of the female scientist came up to me to ask how i was before i knew what was going on she was leaning in to kiss me. Then just as she did the ship lurched crashing her mouth against mine.i was so shocked by what had just happened that it took awhile before i stopped it,it was mistake just like Penny".

"I'm sorry buddy but i have to disagree that's nothing like what Penny did ,you got kissed and stopped it Penny kissed Sheldon thinking he was you and only stopped when she noticed something was wrong. You didn't cheat Leonard, Penny did maybe not at first but with starting a relationship with Sheldon she did, i can't believe there in a relationship it feels like someones weird fantasy".

"Well they are, but i think i would of eventually forgiven Penny,Sheldon on the other hand i want nothing more to do with .

"Why would you forgive Penny, and not Sheldon?" asked Amy

"Because she made a mistake, then you and Bernadette told her you wanted nothing to do with her and she thought she had lost everyone and was feeling vulnerable. Had she not been she wouldn't of started a relationship with him or let him kiss her ,on the other hand Sheldon told you then Penny that he had feelings for her, then stole Penny from me so i can't bring myself to forgive him". Leonard sighed as tears welled up in his eyes "Penny told me she thinks she's falling in love with him".

"WHAT" came from the group in unison.

"She told me she might be falling in love with him"tears where pouring out now "I mean how can that happen it took her years to tell me, but after only a short time she thinks she is with him? it doesn't make any sense". Bernadette and Amy where both crying for there friend now getting up they both moved to Leonard to hug started crying as well Howard got up and went to the bathroom to hide his tears.

After a few minutes they where all able to compose themselves ,Leonard remembered the text from Penny so wanted to ask there opinions of what to do.

"Guys Penny sent me a text but i haven't read it yet i don't know what to do, what do you guys think i should do?".

Howard answered quickly "Delete it then block her number" Bernadette was surprised by this"Howie that's a bit much don't you think?" Howard turned to his wife "No she hurt my friend she doesn't deserve to able to contact him".

"Well i think you should at least read it" Bernadette said.

"I agree she might be telling you something important"was Raj's answer.

They all turned to Amy waiting for what she would say,looking at all the expectant faces Amy answered "I don't know Leonard part of me agrees with Howard but like Raj said it could be something important,i say go with your heart".

Leonard Pulled out his phone going to Penny's message he hesitated for a moment before finally opening it.

From Penny **"Hi Leonard i know i've already said this but i'm really sorry for what has happened and none it's your fault believe me, you asked me why i never told you about what happened before you got back? Well i didn't get to tell you before you left so i thought i'd tell you now as i don't know if i'll see you again:( . I didn't tell you because i knew you would be devastated and i didn't want it effecting your work and ruining your expedition, i promise i was going to tell you when you contacted me to let me know when you where coming back .However you came back early without me knowing so that's why i didn't tell you i just couldn't do that to you whilst you whereon you expedition. I hope you believe what i've just told you and i have request for you to consider, i know you probably don't want to see me but could we stay in touch even it's just by text? I know it's a lot to ask considering what i've done but i don't want you out of my for life.**

 **"Sorry for the long text i've missed you and i'm glad your back".**

 **Penny xxx**

Leonard just looked at his phone after reading Penny's long message wondering how to respond,finally deciding what to say he quickly typed out a message and sent it to her.

* * *

 **A/N Thank you for reading Please Review**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you for all the reviews for my previous chapter they are much appreciated.**

Penny sat on her couch waiting for Cheryl to turn up so they could go out,even though it was her idea Penny was starting to regret planning on going out .She took another sip of her third glass of wine sighing as she went over the events of the day .She had got up late for work,so when she arrived her manager was already not happy with her .However things just got worse she couldn't get Leonard off her mind wondering if he'll ever reply to her message or if she'll see or hear from him . Being that distracted she had gotten orders wrong took drinks to the wrong tables, so she was barely getting any tips. So it came as know surprise that her manager eventually had enough of all the mistakes she was making and sent her home ,telling her to take a couple of days off.

Leonard god it had been so good to see him again , even though he wasn't hers anymore she couldn't stop herself from thinking about him as if he still was .She had been so caught up in him that when she got home from work she went to her closet to pull out the box which was full of things she knew where special to her .Looking through the box had made her both happy and sad, deciding she needed a drink after looking through it she poured herself a glass of wine, so here she was polishing off her third glass of wine.

Cheryl made her way up to Penny's apartment she had been worried about her after seeing the way she was acting at work .She hoped that she could talk Penny out of going out tonight she thought it would be better if she could get her to talk about how she was feeling .With Penny though that had always been difficult she was always guarded with her feelings well except for anger. As she reached Penny's door and took a deep breath, before knocking and hoping she could get Penny to open up to her.

Penny was just about to refill her glass when she heard a knock at her door when it didn't get repeated she knew it must be Cheryl putting the wine back down she got up and made her way to door answering it with a smile.

"Hey Cheryl come on in" Penny said with all the happiness she could muster.

Cheryl knew Penny well enough and could tell her cheerful mood was fake,but decided to play along noticing the wine she looked at Penny "I see you started without me".

Penny looked at her and sighed "Yeah i was feeling a bit down so decided to have a drink" ending it with a shrug.

"Well don't leave me out pour me a glass whilst i use your bathroom". Penny just nodded

As Cheryl made her way to the bathroom she entered Penny's bedroom her eyes where drawn to the box on Penny's bed, curious as to what it was she called out to Penny.

"Hey Penny what this box of stuff on your bed?".

Penny was in the middle of pouring a glass of wine for Cheryl when she stood up shocked and wide eyed' _Crap_ ' she thought she hadn't put the box away .Putting down the wine she quickly made her way to bedroom ,to see Cheryl sitting on her bed with box next to her. Penny went over and sat next to her before picking the box up and putting it on her lap looking down at intently.

Penny continued to look down at the box before turning to Cheryl to see her sitting there waiting for a answer.

"It's my box of memento's" then in a sad voice "From Leonard".

Cheryl was a bit surprised Penny had never done this for previous boyfriends "That's nice but why do one for Leonard? I've never seen you do this before".

Penny still looking at the box, but now on the verge of crying "Because it's Leonard" was her only reply.

Cheryl saw this as a good opportunity to get Penny to open up about how she was feeling, she just needed to do it slowly this box was a good start.

"Penny can you tell me a little about some of the things in the box?".

To Cheryl's relief Penny nodded, then picked up what appeared to be a letter now with a smile on her face "This is a thank you letter Leonard wrote me after the first time we had sex".

Cheryl was about to laugh at that but clearly to Penny it meant a lot "He thanked you for having sex with him?".

Penny nodded still smiling "Yeah it wasn't the best sex it was actually kind of awkward,yet he still felt it was worth thanking me for".

She put the letter back down then picked up a rose "He left me this on my windshield just because".

Placing it back down then picking up a plane ticket "He bought me a ticket to go back to Nebraska for the holidays because i was broke,i couldn't believe he did that he'd only known me a few months".

"Wait he bought you a ticket back home when you had only known him for a few months? wow care to tell me how that came about?".

"I was over at the guys apartment, and they where discussing what they where going to be doing for the holidays . Leonard ask me what my plans where i told him i usually go home but couldn't afford to this year as i was broke .He then started asking me when i would of been going and for how long , and i thought nothing of his questions just thinking he was being curious. Then a few days later i was getting my mail when i noticed a envelope with just my name on the front, i opened it straight away to find a plane ticket back home i knew it had to be Leonard who had done it. So i made my way up to there apartment and walked in heading straight over to where Leonard was sitting down. Putting my arms around his neck and giving a kiss on the cheek and thanking him for his amazing gift."

"Wow" was all Cheryl could say,she had never known anyone to do that for her even guys she was dating,yet here was a guy Penny hadn't known for long giving her such a wonderful gift.

"I can't believe he did that for you that was so sweet of him"Cheryl finally said

"I know,when i got home and told my parents about it, they couldn't believe it either, my daddy even pointed out that Kurt never did anything like that for me in all the time we where together".

"Well that's because Leonard's a great guy and Kurt was just a jerk who didn't deserve to be with you, although if it wasn't for him you would never of met Leonard".

Penny's smile disappeared at what Cheryl said ' _Leonard is a great guy_ ' she thought but he didn't deserve all the hurt she'd caused him.

Cheryl saw Penny's smile fade after what she had said, she hoped to keep her talking to get her to open up. But with her change in demeanor she wasn't sure she needed to try and keep her going and talking about Leonard and nice memories about him seemed to work.

"Penny how long have you had feelings for Leonard?"

Penny just stared blankly for a second lost in thought before answering "I think i realised i had feelings for him when he hooked up with Leslie Winkle it bothered me more than i thought it would. So when i saw him at the cheesecake factory and he told me it wasn't going to work out i couldn't help smiling when i left his table i was so happy he was dating her. That's when i realised that Leonard had become more than a new friend and neighbour to me".

"Why did you never ask him out?"

Penny sighed "Because at the time i was still confused as to why i had feelings for a guy who wasn't confident and looked nothing like the guys i normally dated".

"But you did end up going on a date with him after you broke up with Mike?"

"Yeah i did, he asked me out though i was surprised when i realised he was asking me out but it brought a smile to my face so i said yes . But it was only one date as i felt as though i wasn't smart enough for him, he found out and made the situation worse so we never went out again".

"So what changed your mind and start dating him for almost a year?"

""Well the months after our first date my feelings for him grew, and i was jealous every time he was interested in another woman i even got into a fight with one. I was jealous of Leonard's attention being on her instead of me plus she was only using the guys to do things for her . So one day i told her not to take advantage of them and she accused me of doing the same thing,so we ended fighting".

"Oh that's awful"

"No it turned out okay after that the guys didn't do anything for her and i had Leonard's attention back on me. I wasn't the only one of us to get jealous he didn't like the fact i went out with one of his colleagues after only just meeting him. He ended up doing something out of character for him, he came over time my apartment a couple of days later and confronted me over it".

"Really what did he say?".

"He said he was okay with the way things where between us but didn't understand why i was going out with Dave as he was smarter than him, he thought that was the only reason i wouldn't date him but it wasn't and i never told him the real reason".

Cheryl thought this was great Penny was opening up to her "What was the real reason?".

"I was worried that if it didn't work out between us i'd lose him as a friend and i didn't want that to happen".

Cheryl understood this they had been friends since the beginning and Penny not wanting to lose that made sense. But what changed making her risk dating him the only thing that fitted was Penny had somehow fallen in love with him without realising it or did she.?.

"Penny how long have you been in love with Leonard?.

Penny stayed quiet for a moment then in barely a whisper "I believe i was in love with him before he left for the North Pole".

So she was in love with him but that made Cheryl confused "Penny if you where in love with him why did you break up with him when he said it to you?".

This brought tears to Penny's eyes "Because i was scared".

Now Cheryl was even more confused "Scared of what?".

"Scared of being left broken hearted again every guy i've told that i love has cheated on me or betrayed me in someway. I knew Leonard wasn't like that and truly meant it when he said he loved me. But i couldn't get rid of the fear it might happen, i never told him i loved him even though i was completely,and i didn't want to lead him on so i ended it with him".

It was too much for Penny with all this reminiscing and remembering the pain she caused Leonard both then and now, so Penny was sobbing by the time she'd finished Cheryl took the box off Penny's lap and pulled her into a hug and let her get it all out.

After awhile Penny spoke through her sobs "I...always...hurt...him..even...though...i..love..him".

Cheryl felt awful she had never seen Penny so broken up over a guy, Leonard was truly one of a kind, she just hoped that someday they could be friends again. Because she was worried about how Penny wouldn't cope without Leonard being in her life in someway.

After awhile Penny stopped crying and went quiet Cheryl realised that she had fallen asleep,she didn't know what to do so decided to just stay the way they was. After about a hour Cheryl heard Penny's phone beep with a message, she didn't want to wake Penny up but she knew she had too in case it was important.

"Penny Penny wake up".

Penny stared realising that she was still holding onto Cheryl after breaking down and had soaked her blouse with her tears.

"Hey sorry about that and your top"

"It's okay you seemed like you needed it and it doesn't matter about my top, i only woke you because you've received a message om your phone".

On hearing that Penny was up and out the bedroom as quick as she could hoping it was from Leonard, when she picked up her phone and unlocked it a smile spread across her face it was from Leonard.

Cheryl followed Penny out and she saw Penny smiling, guessing it must be from Leonard,however Penny still hadn't opened the message.

"Whats wrong Penny i thought you wanted to hear back from him why aren't you reading it?".

Penny's smile had gone again "I'm scared ,what if he only replied to tell me to leave him alone".

"Well you won't know until you read it ,no use wondering when you have the answer right there in front of you".

With shaky hands Penny opened Leonard's message.

From Leonard" **Penny thank you for telling me the reason why you didn't tell me about what happened, i appreciate your consideration to my feelings . You're right it would of not been something i could of dealt with and it would of probably affected my work so again thank you.**

 **As for your request for us to stay in touch, i don't think i'm ready for that just yet, however i promise i'll think about it. Just so you know i would of forgiven you for the drunken kiss and being in bed with Sheldon it was just a drunken mistake. I know because something similar happened to me i was drunk and was kiss by a girl, but i stopped it and it meant nothing to me, i hope you believe me.**

 **I Love You Penny and i always will**

 **Goodbye**

Penny just sat there going over what she'd just read ,he had thanked her for her explanation but refused her olive branch but promised to think about it and told her he would of forgiven her for what she did. But she was shocked to learn that another woman had kissed her Leonard but she couldn't be mad because she had done worse, the tears started again he would of forgiven her and he still loved me, but what did he mean with that goodbye.

 **Thank you for taking the time to read this chapter:Please review**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:Thankyou to everyone who read and reviewed my previous chapter,sorry for the delay in posting this chapter**

Leonard started his search for a new place to live expecting it to take sometime so was pleasantly surprised when after only a few days of searching he found a affordable place to live. When he arrived to look at the apartment he looked at the number on the door it was 48 which actually made him smile because for a moment he saw 4B instead,shaking his head he followed the landlord inside he gazed around it was quite spacious with a decent sized living area and kitchenette more windows than his old apartment making it look brighter,there where patio doors leading onto a small balcony. It had two bedrooms one had a en-suite bathroom,the was another separate bathroom next to the other bedroom,Leonard smiled looking around this place was perfect.

Over the next few days he went about getting his new place furnished finally moving in about week after signing the lease to the apartment,however he was still missing some stuff which needed to be collected from his old place luckily Raj agreed to meet the removal company and supervise the collection of his stuff,Leonard had already decided he was leaving the items he bought with Sheldon there the only things he wanted where his desk and everything on it and everything from his bedroom except the bed,he had already bought a new one because he couldn't bring himself to ever sleep in that bed again.

Sitting down on his new couch Leonard looked around satisfied with how everything was,'it looked great'he thought but it wasn't perfect because the only thing that would make it perfect would be if he was sitting here with Penny. He'd always imagined that one day he would be living in a nice place with her,being engaged or better married then eventually having those smart and beautiful babies he always wanted with Penny.

He turned and looked at the time it was just after 8 which means Penny probably now knows that he has permanently left 4A,wondering to himself if he should of told her before hand,letting out a sigh he decides to send her a message.

* * *

Penny was making her way up to the fourth floor unenthusiastically she was miserable she hadn't had any contact from Leonard since he sent her that text forgiving her and telling her he still loved her, that night it had taken Cheryl a long time to convince her that he wasn't shutting her out of his life he was just hurting and needed some time,eventually he'd get in touch with he,but that was a week ago and Penny was starting to doubt that she would ever hear or see Leonard again,as she reached the 4th floor ,she looked at the door to 4A she hesitated for moment not really wanting to go in she remembered that Raj was bringing takeout tonight so it wasn't just her and Sheldon,ever since Leonard's return she had been reluctant to hang round with Sheldon,the smallest thing he did was starting to irritate her,she knew it was because he was partly to blame for her losing Leonard.

Penny opened the door but before she said anything her eyes where immediately drawn to the empty space where Leonard's desk once was,turning to the guys she nervously asked.

"Erm where's Leonard's desk gone?"

"It was taken away to his new apartment along with his stuff in the bedroom"Sheldon said not looking away from the tv.

Penny blinked trying to hold back the tears that where forming,she almost ran through the apartment to Leonard's room to see if it was true,once she got there she closed her eyes taking a breath before opening the door to his room,it was true all of his belongings where gone everything that made this room his wasn't there,except for one thing his bed,still looking how it was left that regretful night,she understood why he hadn't wanted it it would be a painful reminder to him of what they'd done to him,even she couldn't bring herself to go near it like it was toxic..It became too painful being in what was his room,knowing it wasn't anymore all the good memories aswell as the bad rushing through her mind ,she quickly left the apartment ignoring Sheldon and Raj .Not Stopping until she reached her bedroom and collapsed on it letting go allowing her tears to fall.

She didn't know how long it had been when she felt her phone vibrate reluctantly moving to pull it out of her pocket,her eyes went wide when she saw it was from Leonard.

From Leonard **"Hey Penny I guess you now know that I've moved all my stuff out of 4A,i would just like to say i'm sorry I should of let you know beforehand so it wasn't such a surprise to you I apologise if I upset you,how are you anyway are you okay?"**

Penny smiled,he was apologising for not telling her and was asking if she was okay,she wondered if she should reply,ah screw it she was going to reply whats the worst that could happen .

To Leonard **"Thankyou Leonard for your apology,yes it did come as a surprise to see all your stuff had gone except your bed,but I understand why you didn't want to take that,i'm okay for the most part,i do miss everyone but mostly I miss you"**

From Leonard **"I'm glad you're okay I miss you too,but i'm still hurting over what you told me,so give me some time to heal okay,if you like you can send me messages,pictures or even videos letting me know how you are,just not what you're doing with him".**

Penny's smile now spread across her face he was letting her contact him with anything she wanted to tell him,just not about her and Sheldon which she understood,not that she would of told him anyway .

To Leonard **"Thankyou Leonard I will :)".**

From Leonard **"You're welcome enjoy your evening:)x**

To Leonard **"I'll try you enjoy yours too.x"**

With a smile still on her face she got up and went to the bathroom cleaning her face and reapplying some make up before heading back over to 4A feeling happier than she had in a week.

* * *

After his his text exchange with Penny Leonard couldn't help but feel little happier at contacting her,but he also felt sorry for her she was missing everyone,so he decided he was going to do something about it wasn't going to be easy though, Amy would most certainly refuse as would Howard probably ,Bernadette though might be okay with it and she might be able to get Howard to agree,so with that he text Bernadette.

To Bernadette **"Hey I was wondering if we could all maybe meet at yours tomorrow night for a get together if that's alright"**

From Bernadette **"Sure but why are you asking me instead of Howie?"**

To Bernadette **"Because I sort of need your help with something"**

From Bernadette **"What do you need?** "

'Here it goes' thought Leonard to Bernadette **"I was wondering if you would be willing to go and have take out in 4A?Penny misses you,and could you help me convince Howard"**

From Bernadette **"Okay sure I do miss Penny she is still my bestfriend,i'm not sure how i'll convince Howie though"**

To Bernadette **"I'll ask him to do me a favour and maybe you could help by backing me up"**

From Bernadette **"Okay but I don't know if it will work he's still angry with both of them"**

To Bernadette **"I know but I want to try I feel awful that she has only him and sometimes Raj to hang with there,i want Penny to be able to see you guys".**

From Bernadette **"I'll do what I can,do you want me to invite everyone over to mine?".**

To Bernadette **"Could you that'll be great see you tomorrow at 7 okay"**

From Bernadette **"See you tomorrow at 7,i hope this works".**

To Bernadette **"Me too thanks Bernadette".**

From Bernadette **"Anytime".**

Leonard put his phone down sighing,hoping that his plan will work.

* * *

The next evening they where all gathered at the Wolowitz's place enjoying a meal and discussing the different days,Leonard looked over at Bernadette and she gave him a small nod .

"Howard i was wondering if you could do me a big favour?"

"Sure buddy what do you need?"

taking a deep breath first Leonard look Howard straight in the eye"Could you go and have takeout in 4A tomorrow?"

Howard went wide eyed looking at Leonard as though he had two heads"Are you serious why the hell would i want to do that that?"

"Because i think Penny would really like to see you guys again and i'm sure Bernadette misses hanging out with Penny"

Howard turned to Bernie who just nodded"I do Howie she is still my friend even though i don't like what happened"

"Well if you want to go then go nothings stopping you but i'm not going after what she did to Leonard"

Bernadette grabbed Howard's hand"Please Howie come with me"giving him her best pleading look.

"I don't know"was all he could say

"Howard i appreciate your loyalty to me but it was me who she hurt not you,and Bernadette clearly wants to see her,you don't have to talk to them just be there"

It was raj who spoke next"He's right dude,plus i'll be there for you to talk too and she will be pleased to see you guys as she rarely says anything these days when where having takeout ,she always looks so miserable."

Howard looked like he was thinking it over before he finally spoke"Fine but i'm not talking to either of them".

Leonard was happy that they'd gotten Howard to agree this was bound to make Penny happy having the gang back together,well almost he wsn't going to be going and Amy,he turned to look at Amy she hadn't said a word.

"Amy are you okay?i didn't ask you about this as i wasn't sure you'd want anything to do with it"

"No it's okay Leonard i understand, Bernadettes known Penny longer than me so i can understand her wanting to see her,but i'm surprised at Howard agreeing even though he wants nothing to do with either of them,so i think i might go too"

They all looked at Amy in stunned silence it was Bernadette who was first to recover"Amy are you sure you really want to do that?"

"No i don't but it's been over 2 months since it happened,maybe i'm ready to forgive them and move on"

Leonard just looked at her surprised,but there was something he thought he needed to say

"Amy that's very brave of you I don't think i'm quite ready to forgive Sheldon but I have already forgiven Penny for her mistake,but i'd just like to say something that I don't think your going to like"

Amy looked at Leonard wondering what he was going to say.

"Amy I don't believe Penny did anything wrong other than making the mistake of sleepily thinking Sheldon was me"

Amy looked at him in shock"How can you say that she took my boyfriend"Amy said angrily

Leonard looked Amy in the eyes before he spoke"Amy you know deep down that's not true,Sheldon broke up with you before going to see Penny,she knew nothing about it which is why your voicemail saying she stole your boyfriend confused her,she knew nothing about what Sheldon said to you,yes you can be angry with her for being in a relationship with Sheldon,but she didn't steal him from you.

Amy just stared at Leonard'he did have a point after hearing Penny's side of what happened it did appear she knew nothing about Sheldon breaking up with her or what Sheldon was going to next'she thought

"Okay I guess you're right I'm still not happy though about it,so I might not stay long if it gets too much for."

"We understand and it's best if you do this with everyone with just in case it does become too much for you you'll have them by your side"

Amy looked around seeing the Rajash Howard and Bernadette all looking at her with sympathectic smiles"We'll all here for you Amy"said Bernadette getting approving nods from Howard and Rajesh.

The moment was follwed with silence before it was broken by Bernadette"so it's settled we'll all going for takeout in 4A tomorrow except Leonard,what do they have on a Saturday?.

"Indian" the rest said in unison.

* * *

Saturday morning Leonard found himself somewhere he felt he didn't belong,and not just because of the way he was dressed,but here he was in a gym looking around not knowing where to start, he glanced over at the guys who all reminded him of Penny's ex Kurt egging each other on to lift ever increasing amounts of weight,that was definitley out he was sure he'd struggle just lifting the smallest weights,he continued to survey the gym and all the different pieces of equipment,designed to exercise different parts of the body,the more he looked around the more he really didn't want to be here.

He must off been stood still for awhile because a tap on his shoulder made him jump,when he turned to see who it was his jaw dropped,there stood probably one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen she was slightly shorter than him with long auburn hair tied in a pony tail,deep blue eyes that looked like sapphires ,she was slender but very toned clearly a regular exerciser.

But what struck him the most was the smile the way she did it reminded him of how Penny had smiled when he first met her,he was brought out of his thoughts when she spoke.

"Hi are you okay,it's just youv'e been stood there a while not moving"

"Oh sorry sorry i never been here before and i was just trying to decide where to start"

"Oh okay have you ever been to a gym before?"

"Yeah,but it didn't go to well"Leonard looked down slightly embarrassed.

"That's okay what is it you want to accomplish by coming here?"

"Well i kind of don't really exercise and i've ate alot of takeout over the years so i just want to get fitter"Leonard said almost shyly.

With that same adorable smile she replied"Well how about you start off with alittle cardio and take from there?"

Leonard nodded"Okay where do i do that?"

"Over there "she pointed off to the far side"I'm going over there myself,do you want to join me i could show how to use the equipment and i would enjoy the company"

"Thankyou that would be very helpful but i don't want to distract you from what you're going to do"

"No no it's fine it'll be nice to have someone to train with who isn't trying to hit on me"she said with that smile never leaving her face.

"If you're sure"

She laughed"Of course i'm sure,i'm Gemma by the way"

"Leonard"

"Well nice to meet you Leonard,lets get you exercising."

* * *

 **A/N Thankyou for taking the time to read this chapter I hope you enjoyed it:Reviews would be welcome**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N Thankyou to everyone who read and or reviewed my last chapter getting them keeps me motivated**

Leonard followed Gemma over to what he was sure was a treadmill,trying his best not to stare at her,she was wearing skin tight clothes and they showed off her body perfectly,Leonard was brought from his thoughts when she spoke.

"Okay Leonard since you've never done anything like this before i'll start you off on a treadmill all you'll be doing is jogging"still flashing that smile.

"Okay"was all Leonard said before he got on the tread mill then watched as Gemma showed him how to start and stop it and how to change the speed,Leonard got going on a low setting not much more than walking pace He then glanced across and watched as Gemma got on to one next to his and got going at a much faster pace than he was,not wanting to look to bad Leonard tentavily increased the speed of his.

Leonard was getting a little out of breath at the increased speed it felt like he had been going for hours but had only been a few minutes,but there was one good thing about this he was facing a mirror so he was able to look at Gemma's reflection in the mirror. He wasn't surprised to see even at her faster pace she was clearly having a much easier time than he was, also he couldn't help but keep taking glances at her she really was very pretty. She also had a amazing figure he was so entranced that he hadn't noticed her looking at him when he did she she gave him a smile whilst Leonard diverted his eyes but knew he was blushing.

Gemma had been taking quick looks at Leonard in the mirror for some reason she found herself quite drawn to him,she noticed he was looking at her so she gave him a smile and watch as he turned away and blushed. He was cute and clearly a little shy which she found adorable,after taking another quick look at him she saw he was tiring so decided to give him a rest.

So stopping and getting off her treadmill she walked over to Leonard."Leonard I think that's enough for your first go you can get off now"

Leonard was greatfull but was out of breath so couldn't say anything so just nodded after getting off he sat down and took out his inhaler and taking a quick puff

Gemma looked at him wide eyed"Leonard why didn't you tell me you had asthma?"

After taking moment to catch his breath he answered"I didn't think about it i'm sorry although I should of known given what happened the last time I went to a gym".

Gemma was curious"What happened last time I thought you hadn't done anything like this before?".

Leonard looked at her slightly embarrassed"Well I haven't I just went there and pretended I knew what I was doing and ended up in the nurses office"

"Wow that sounds awful,i guess we should call it a day then"

Leonard shook his head"No no I want to continue I will just have take easy"

Gemma looked at him hesitantly."Okay but i'll be keeping an I on you and if I tell you to stop you stop okay?"

Leonard just smiled and nodded"Okay your the boss"

Gemma smiled back holding out her hand to help him up"Good now come with me where going to take it slow this time"

* * *

Over the next hour Leonard had done more exercise than he'd ever done since high school and true to her word she made sure he took it slow and never over did it she even managed to get him to be doing what he was now weightlifting. He knew he wasn't that strong so he was using the same weight Gemma had before him but even that felt to heavy for him but he wasn't going to tell her that he be too embarrassed.

Gemma had enjoyed the last hour training with Leonard with him having to take easy she hadn't been training as hard as she normally would,but it was worth it to able to keep looking at him as much as she wanted to without having to make excuses .She was enjoying herself immensely because he was cute and his determination made him even more cute ,so now she was watching him lift weights wondering what he looked like under those baggy grey sweats .She could see he wasn't that big but with some training he could look well toned she thought if he's willing to do this again she'll suggest he wheres a t-shirt and shorts as he was clearly sweating due to what he was wearing not just this exercise.

Gemma was brought out of her thoughts by Leonard speaking"Okay i'm done do you want me to do anything else?

"No I think that's enough for your first session you did pretty well"she said flashing him that smile again.

Leonard returned her smile"Thanks Gemma for all your help I don't think i'd of stayed this long or done as much as I have if it wasn't for you"

this caused Gemma to blush""Awe you don't have to thank me I had the nicest time here today with you"

"No I do you really helped me today with this is there anything i can do for you just ask"

Gemma thought'just ask what do you have to lose'with a coy smile"Well after we've gotten showered and changed would you join me for a cup of coffee?"

Leonard was a little surprised but was happy to do it"Sure i'd loved to ,how about you meet me in the lobby after you've gotten changed".

The smile on Gemma's face grew to be practically beaming at him"Okay"was all she said before heading to the ladies changing room the smile never leaving her face,she was happy to be spending more time with Leonard.

* * *

They arrived at the closest coffee shop to the gym it was only a few minutes away so no need to take there cars Gemma told him she usually goes here after her gym ordered the drinks and something to eat and after collecting there orders went to sit down in a quiet corner,they spent the first few minutes just quietly consuming there snacks and taking sips of there coffee .

Gemma decided to break the silence"So Leonard tell me about yourself"

Leonard took a sip of his coffee before answering"What do you want to know?"

"I don't know everything you're happy to tell me,like work,hobbies relationships"

Leonard nodded"Okay as long as after I answer these you tell me yours"

"Deal"Gemma said with that smile of hers again.

"Well lets see my work I am a experimental physicist at Caltech"

Gemma looked at him with wonder"Wow that sounds really interesting do you enjoy your work?"

Leonard started smiling she seamed genuinely interested in his work"Yeah I enjoy it i'm working with lasers and holograms at the moment and I recently came back from a expedition to the North Sea".

"Wow that's sound really cool what was the expedition for or can't you tell me?"

"I was to test a theory by Professor Stephen Hawking"

Gemma was even more impressed she had heard of Hawking and Leonard had got to work for him"Wow Hawking good for you"

For a moment Leonard froze hearing those words brought back a memory of telling Penny about his trip how she was both excited for him and sad that he was going,it must of shown on his face because Gemma was looking at him with a compassionate smile.

"Leonard are you okay?"

Leonard gave her a weak smile"Yeah it's just what you said reminded me of something someone said before I left that's all"

Wanting to change the subject Leonard decided it was her turn"So anyway what do you for a living"

Gemma looked at him for a moment something had clearly bothered him but he seemed not to want to talk about so she answered his question"Okay I am a sales person on a home shopping channel selling sports wear and equipment it's why I need to go the gym to keep in good shape I have to demonstrate using the equipment and sometimes the clothes"

Leonard was a little stunned at what she did,but with her personality he could see she would be perfect and it probably helped that she looked great too"Wow that's sounds exciting do you like your job?"

"I love my job it's so easy and I only have to work a couple of hours a day"anyway what sort of hobbies do you have Leonard?"

Leonard was unsure if he should tell her but decided he had nothing to lose"I collect and read comic books,i enjoy watching movies and tv shows from sci fi and comic books and fantasy I also collect figurines again from sci fi and comic books and fantasy plus other types of collectables."

Gemma got a big smile on her face"Can I tell you a secret?"

Leonard was wondering why she smiling after he told her his hobbies"Okay sure"

"I like those type of movies and tv sows too aswell as the usual romantic ones"

Leonard was surprised again"Really you like them?what's your favourite movie and show from those genres?"

Gemma thought for a moment"My favourite sci fi movie is Star Wars of course I like the original trilogy best,from comics Iron Man and from fantasy it has to be Lord of the Rings, Tv Shows lets see sci fi Star Trek,comics Arrow and fantasy Game of Thrones"

Leonard couldn't say anything he was in awe of her she was bubbly sociable and she liked the kinds tv shows and movies he did,he would of said she was perfect for him except for one thing,she wasn't Penny,this thought made him sad.

Gemma saw that same look as before she was wondering if he was thinking about the same thing again or something similar,this time she just decided to bring him out of it by telling more about herself.

"I haven't told you my hobbies yet lets see I enjoy going the gym as you know I like swimming,reading romance novels, horse riding and watching motor sports"

Leonard hadn't really been listening to what she said until he heard horse riding,this time avoiding thinking of her and concentrating on Gemma"Wait you like motor sports?"looking at her confused.

Gemma was used to this response when she mentioned that hobby"Yeah I do it's fun to watch and awesome at the actual track the atmosphere the noise of the cars, bikes ,trucks is something I just can't describe you would need to experience it yourself to fully appreciate it".

Leonard was surprised at this hobby but he wasn't going to judge her on it"I'm sure I would but it's not something I'm interested in"

"That's okay but if you ever change your mind i'll take you to one the closest events so you can get a feel for what it's like"grinning at him

Leonard was more interested in her horse riding"How long have you been horse riding?"

"I love horse riding I have been doing it since I was a little girl,it's amazing have you ever done it?"

"Me noooo I would be to scared to get on a horse to even try and ride one there so big"

Gemma laughed at this,then reached across and grabbed Leonard's hand glad that he didn't pull it away"Leonard horses are very sweet and I could teach you the basics so you don't fall off,i was going to go this afternoon do you maybe want to come with me, just to watch so you can see what it's like?"giving him a almost pleading look.

Leonard was stunned when she grabbed his hand,but now she was asking him to go and watch her ride a horse and she was looking at him like she really wanted him to go Leonard wasn't surprised when he found him self nodding yes.

Not letting go of his hand she broke out into a huge smile"Really you will that's amazing Leonard ,I promise you won't regret it maybe i'll convince you to try and atleast sit on a horse"

Leonard smiled, her smile and personality where captivating"Maybe we'll see"Leonard looked at his watch they had been here for quite a while and Leonard thought it was time to go."Well it's been nice meeting you and getting to know you Gemma but I think I need to go,i have things to I have to do".

Gemma was a little disappointed that there time together was coming to a end but smiled when she remembered she was going to see him again this afternoon"Oh okay well why don't we exchange numbers so we can stay in touch and I can let you know where to meet me"

Leonard nodded they swapped phones and put each others numbers into the phones,after giving each other there phones back they got up and left,the walk back was short but Gemma took the opportunity to link her arm through Leonard's. When they arrived back at the gym carpark Gemma unlinking her arm from Leonard with a bit of disappointment turned to Leonard and smiled then pulled him into a hug.

Leonard was abit surprised when after they left the coffee shop Gemma linked her arm through his but he wasn't going to tell her to stop,it felt nice having another pretty woman happily doing something like that with him .Finding that a surprise was nothing to when they arrived back at the gym carpark,then she unlinked his arm smiled that smile again and then pulled him into a hug and that's where he was right now.

Gemma reluctantly let go of Leonard still smiling"Well I'll send you a message letting you know where and when to meet me"

Leonard returning her smile"Okay i'll be waiting for your message,see you later"

"See you later,bye Leonard"Gemma said before giving him a smile and a wave.

Leonard waved back before walking over to his car,wondering how he got so lucky in meeting a woman so friendly and beautiful and who seemed to want to spend time with him because she wanted too. For the first time since coming back from the North Sea Leonard was genuinely happy and was looking forward to seeing her again,'maybe they could become great friends'Leonard thought with a smile

* * *

 **A/N:Thank you for taking the time to read this chapter,i originally was going to have this chapter be about Leonard &Gemma and the gang,but I got carried away with writing Leonard and Gemma.I hope you enjoyed what I wrote and I didn't ramble too much,in the next chapter I will do the rest of the gangs get together.I made her like motor sports because i wanted her to have a hobby that was different from anything Leonard and anybody he knew and it was the first thing that came to for her job well that's something i think Penny on the show could and would probably enjoy as it involves sales which she knows how to do and you could say if she selling things she likes,say make up or jewellery or better yet Penny's favourite things shoes,and it wouldn't be that hard to set up as it wouldn't need a big set to do.**

 **As always please to review I really appreciate them:)**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Thank you to those who continue to read this story and of course to the reviewers.**

Leonard finally arrived back at his apartment happy but exhausted from the day he'd just had, he couldn't believe when he'd arrived at the gym things would of turned out the way they did. But he was glad they had, Gemma was a very friendly woman who seemed to genuinely like his company heck she even managed to get him to sit on a horse when he went with her to the horse riding school. Leonard smiled at this memory he was still scared of horses but now not so much, maybe if she asks him to go again he'll try and do more, he was brought out of his thoughts by his phone buzzing it was a text from Penny.

From Penny **" Thank you Leonard"** Leonard knew nothing more needed to be said he knew what she meant.

* * *

Penny was giddy happier than she had felt in months, she had received a message earlier from Bernadette asking if they all could come over this evening for take out, of course Penny's answer was yes. She knew that Bernadette's use of all could mean everyone but Leonard but she hoped she was wrong and Leonard would be coming and she also wondered if Amy would come too. Penny wanted to see Amy explain that she had no part in Sheldon breaking up with her and why she was in a faux relationship with Sheldon. When she told Sheldon that the gang was coming over for take out tonight Sheldon had gotten quite excited and proceeded to clean the apartment for there arrival, but he also asked if Amy was coming. She couldn't tell him because she didn't know if she was, but she he understood his excitement if Amy where to come just like her wanting hoping Leonard will come.

* * *

Sheldon was sat in his spot Penny was in Leonard's chair it had just gone six when there was a knock on the door, Penny got up to answer and was instantly rapped in a hug by Bernadette.

Bernadette was happy to see Penny and just hugged her when she opened the door" Penny" was all she said , both with tears in there eyes as they broke the hug Penny looked over at the gang. She was happy Amy was there but her heart sank when she saw no signs of Leonard, but she thought maybe he would come later but not wanting to wait and find out she hugged Bernadette again and whispered in her ear.

"Is Leonard coming?" she asked hopefully

Bernadette could hear the pleading in her voice, but she knew she had to break it to her" I'm sorry Penny" she whispered back.

Penny buried her face into Bernadette's shoulder to hide her tears, Bernadette could feel Penny trembling she knew she was crying, turning to Howard she motioned for him to go in the apartment.

* * *

Sheldon had stood up and was waiting for them to come in Howard was first he just glared at Sheldon before sitting down in the wooden chair, Raj followed and sat down in what was Leonard's chair. It was who came in next that Sheldon was more interested in Amy walked in she gave Sheldon a quick look before sitting down on the suitcase on the far side of the couch.

* * *

Penny finally let go of Bernadette forcing a smile at her" Thanks for coming and you know" Bernadette nodded" Lets go sit down and enjoy our food and we can catch up on what we've missed. Penny and Bernadette took the remaining places on the couch, everyone started eating but no one was talking so Bernadette decided to say something.

"So Penny what have you been upto?"

"Well not much really still working at the cheese cake factory still going to auditions only now a I am pretty much Sheldon's lacky doing everything Leonard used to do for him"

Sheldon decided to speak up" Now Penny it's great honour to do those things for me, it allows you to raise yourself up above mediocrity just like it did for Leonard"

Everybody turned and looked at Sheldon, Penny was fuming not only at the fact that Sheldon said her doing all those things for him was a apparently a great honour but he had insulted both her and Leonard. She in no way considered being Sheldon's servant as a great honour it was annoying but she suffered it for the same reason she was in this relationship with Sheldon.

Bernadette knew where this was so decided to head it off before any sort of argument, lightly touching Penny on the shoulder" Penny do you want to go to your apartment and have a girls night?.

Penny turned to Bernadette, her eyes clearly showing she was on the verge of tears, she nodded at Bernadette which made Bernadette smile , before turning to Amy.

"Amy are you going to come with us?"

Amy wasn't sure but she wasn't sure she wanted to be here either and Leonard had said that her and Sheldon breaking up wasn't Penny's fault, so she decided to go aswell.

"Amy nodded" Sure i'll come too"

Bernadette went over to her husband and gave him a hug" Will you be okay here while i'm over at Penny's?" she whispered in his ear, she felt him nod giving a quick kiss before following Penny and Amy over to 4B.

* * *

When they got to Penny's Bernadette and Amy both sat down on the couch whilst Penny went to the kitchen to fetch some glasses and wine, bringing them over to the table and pouring three glasses.

Again just like in 4A there was silence so again Bernadette was first to speak" So what do you guys want to do?"

Amy responded" Well I would like to know why Penny is in a relationship with Sheldon, when she always joked about him having a girlfriend and now she is the one dating him?"

Penny just looked at them taking a sip of her wine before replying" Because I deserve him" looking down at her lap .

Bernadette was shocked why would Penny think she deserved to be in a relationship with Sheldon instead of Leonard, but then something clicked in her.

"Penny are you dating Sheldon to punish yourself for what happened and for what you did to Leonard?" Penny didn't say anything she just nodded whilst still not looking at them.

Amy was confused" Wait Penny is with Sheldon to punish herself? why would dating Sheldon be punishment?, I never saw it that way"

"Because Amy you wanted to be dating him, Penny has never shown the slightest bit of interest in him, she always complained about how he was arrogant, condescending, belittling and always insulted her, so for her this is punishment".

"However Penny that doesn't explain why you told Leonard you thought you where falling in love with Sheldon?"

Penny remembered telling Leonard that and it seems he told everyone what she said, but she knew it was a lie so she decided to come clean with Bernadette and Amy.

"Before I answer you guys have to promise you won't say a word to anyone else" both girls nodded in agreement before answering "Sure" "Okay"

"Okay the truth is I lied to Leonard I am not in love with Sheldon I never could be I said it to help Leonard move on and find someone who wouldn't do what I did to him"

" You do know Leonard still loves you right and has forgiven you?

Penny nodded with tears in her eyes" I still love him too, he's the love of my life and my best friend too, but I don't think he'll ever trust me again and if we got back together he'd always wonder if something like that might happen again"

Bernadette got up and moved over to Penny given her a awkward hug due to there positions" Oh Penny what have you done, he does believe you that it was a mistake, but he just .like Amy doesn't understand why your with Sheldon. If you had just not got involved with Sheldon to punish yourself or lied to Leonard about being on love with Sheldon you two would be together right now like you should be".

Amy felt sorry for Penny she was heartbroken giving up the one person she truly loved to punish yourself was something Amy didn't think she could ever imagine doing herself. With that Amy got up and joined Bernadette in hugging Penny "Oh Bestie i'm so sorry for you, but just know I forgive to too". Hearing Amy forgive her made Penny smile and her tears turned to ones of happiness.

* * *

Leonard had just got out of the shower and went to his bedroom to get ready for bed when he noticed his was phone was indicating he had message he opened his phone and noticed he had two one from Gemma and the other from Bernadette.

From Gemma **"Leonard I just thought i'd say that I know that you'll will probably be very sore with not being used to exercise but don't let that discourage you from continuing I promise you it will get easier. Also thank you for letting me help you and for going for a coffee with me and of course coming with me when I went horse riding, you should really try it sometime. Let me know when you want to go the gym again I will happily workout with you again maybe we can go swimming and maybe for a meal afterwards of a movie:)**

Leonard look at the message not sure what to at back he was sore and she was probably right about it hurting less as he got used to it, he was happy to train with her again and maybe go swimming but not sure about the others.

To Gemma **" Thanks for your message yeah I am sore and i'm sure it will get easier, yes i'll let you know when I go again so that you can help me with my training again. I am willing to go swimming too but I just thought i'd tell you i'm not a great swimmer , maybe you can help me with that too, also your welcome about the coffee and going with you too watch you ride horses. I don't think you'll ever get me on one but you are free to try, i'm not sure about the meal and a movie, I've only just spilt with my girlfriend and i'm not sure i'm ready to do anything like that yet even just as friends.**

Satisfied with his reply he opened the message from Bernadette it was short but to the point

From Bernadette **"Don't give up on her"**

* * *

 **A/N : Okay I was not entirely happy with this chapter for some reason it never seemed to feel right, but I hope you like it none the less.**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:Thank you for reviewing my last chapter, sorry for the long wait in updating i was stuck with where to go and i also apologise if this is chapter not that good.**

* * *

Leonard was sat in his lab thinking about how things had been going, over the last few weeks Leonard had continued to go the gym and Gemma had been there helping him and encouraging to do more and try some other machines out. Leonard had started to notice a difference his waist was slimmer and he was becoming quite toned, plus exercising was getting easier and he wasn't in as much pain the next day as he was when he first started. After there third visit to the gym she had invited him to go swimming with her, he wasn't sure that was a good idea, but she managed to persuade him to go one evening after work. He'd got quite the shock when she met him at the pool after getting changed into her swimsuit, he was having trouble not staring at her,it showed off her figure much more so than her gym clothes. Then she surprised him after getting in the pool and when he'd got in she swam right up to him grabbing both his hands pulling him into to a hug and thanking him for coming with her. He had been startled by the hug plus what she was wearing was making every guy there just stare at them probably wondering what the beautiful woman was doing with him.

He found himself spending more time with her outside of the gym and swimming, he had told her of his wanting to start eating more healthier and learning to cook from scratch. This had prompted her to not only find somewhere he could be taught but had decided she would go with him, telling him it would be better if he had someone there who he knew.

So over the next month Leonard was getting in much better shape he was going the gym and swimming regularly now, also now he was able to prepare healthy meals from scratch for himself. He'd grown quite fond of Gemma with all the time they where spending together, he even opened up to her about his heartbreak at losing the love of his life, although he omitted to tell her why he lost her just that she moved on. He also told her about his small group of friends and even about Sheldon, she had listened to everything compassion and interest, he wasn't surprised when she asked if she could meet them.

He was brought out of his thoughts by a knock on the door but the words that followed made him freeze, " Anybody home?" for a moment he thought it was Penny, he turns round to find Gemma standing at the door.

Forcing a smile on his face" Hi Gemma nice to see you what brings you here ?"

Gemma smiled back" Well I just thought i'd come by and see if you'd like to go to lunch with me and maybe you could show me around"

Leonard got up from his seat walking over to her" Sure we can do that how about I give you a tour then we can have something to eat in the cafeteria"

"That sounds great maybe i'll finally get to meet some of your friends who work here"

Leonard wasn't too comfortable about that Howard and Raj would probably get the wrong idea about them, but he had nothing to hide so would see what happened when they meet" Sure i'm I think they'll like you especially if you tell them that you like comic books"

It was a while later when Howard and Raj came to the cafeteria, Raj was the first to notice the new beautiful woman, but his surprise didn't stop there when he noticed she was sat talking to Leonard" Howard look over there Leonard's talking to some new woman"

Howard looked to where Raj motioned and saw Leonard and the woman" Damn if I weren't married i'd be all up I that"

Raj scoffed " Yeah right she is clearly here to see Leonard, but who is she why has he never told us about her"

"I don't know but lets get our lunch and introduce ourselves to her"

After getting there they approached Leonard and the unknown woman" Hey buddy how are you are you going to introduce us to your new friend"

Leonard looked up at them he knew he couldn't do anything about it now other than what he asked" Hey guys this is Gemma, Gemma these are my friends and colleagues Howard and Raj"

"Hi guys so what is it you do here? is it as exciting as what Leonard does" putting her hand on Leonard's arm as she said his name

"Well i'm a M.I.T trained engineer currently on lone from NASA I am also a astronaut and have spent time on the International Space Station as a payload specialist"

Gemma acted surprised Leonard had already told her about what jobs his friends did" Oh wow what was it like being in space?"

"I'm not going to lie it was the greatest experience of my life"

"Awesome so what is it you do?" she directed at Raj

"Well i'm a Astrophysist I spend my time looking at the stars hoping to make new discoveries, also I was in people magazine as one there 30 under 30 to watch, but enough about me what does someone as lovely as you do?"

Gemma ignored his attempt to flirt at least that what she thought he was doing" Well I work on a shopping channel selling sports wear and equipment"

Howard spoke up" Well that explains the amazing physique you have, tell me how did you to meet?

"Well I was at cooking class and I was partnered with Leonard for one of the recipes and well we just hit it off and have been friends and hanging out ever since"

Leonard was glad she hadn't told them about the gym, he didn't want anyone knowing Gemma had been reluctant to lie but he had persuaded her that it wasn't really a lie just a change in how they first met.

They continued to talk throughout there lunch both guys amazed that they liked similar things to them and ended up in a discussion about there favourite comics, Howard wasn't sure what was going on between Leonard and this Gemma. So he been texting Bernie and told her about Gemma, Bernadette wasn't happy and decided they should invite her to a group get together in her apartment. Howard knew why his wife wasn't happy she had confided in him about what Penny told her making him promise never to tell Raj and definitely not Leonard what she told him.

"Hey Leonard would you and Gemma like to come over tonight for dinner? just that i'm sure Bernie would love to meet her?"

Leonard wasn't sure why they wanted to have Gemma join them for dinner, but she was his friend and it was probably time she met his other friends, maybe they would like her and she could join there happy little group.

Leonard turned to Gemma to see her looking at him expectantly, turning back to Howard" Sure if Gemma wants too?" turning back to Gemma

Gemma gave him that smile he had come to enjoy" I'd loved to can we?"

Leonard smiled back then answered Howard" Looks like where coming to yours for dinner tonight"

* * *

Leonard and Gemma arrived at Bernadette's apartment right on time, being greeted by Bernadette who eyed Gemma suspiciously luckily neither Gemma or Leonard noticed the look she was giving.

"Hi Bernadette this is Gemma, Gemma this is Howard's wife Bernadette"

Gemma smiled then stepped forward to hug Bernadette who seemed a bit surprised by it" It's so nice to meet you i'm sure once you get to know one another we'll be good friends"

Bernadette hugged her back" Sure we could, but lets get inside and have dinner and you can meet Amy and tell us somethings about you"

"Okay" Gemma said before letting go of Bernadette" then following her in side followed by Leonard, noticing a dark haired woman with glasses she assumed this was Amy, wanting to make a good impression she walk over to her extending her hand " Hi i'm Gemma you must be Amy"

Amy just looked at the new comer wondering who she was but not wanting to appear rude answered her back" Hello yes i'm Amy nice to meet you Gemma"

Turning towards Howard and Raj who where both just staring at her making her a bit uncomfortable she greeted them too "Hi guys"

They both replied whilst Howard noticed Bernadette glaring at him "Okay everyone lets it down and have are meal" said Bernadette

* * *

The meal and conversation went along pleasantly Bernadette and Amy got to know more about the young woman who Leonard said was his friend, however Bernadette wasn't sure if this Gemma thought of Leonard the same way

After dinner the guys where sitting on the couch with Gemma on the chair discussing comics and what where there favourite's characters and other stuff Amy and Bernadette had no interests in. So not unexpectedly they where still sat at the table watching what was going on with the guys and Gemma, it was Bernadette who was first to say something.

Whispering to Amy"Amy what do you think of Her?"

Amy turned towards Gemma then back to Bernadette also in a whisper" I think that she is a very pleasant woman and i could see us becoming bestfriends, however whilst Leonard told us she is a friend she clearly appears to see him as more than that.

"I got that impression too when ever Leonard was talking she would just look at him like he was the only one there"

"Do you think we should tell Penny about her?"

"I don't know Amy, we know that her relationship with Sheldon isn't real, but her and Leonard are no longer together, does she really need to know besides we don't know how she will take it"

"We don't but i think she deserve to know before she finds about it some other way, besides what if somehow she finds out about her and that we knew and never said anything i don't think she'll be happy"

Bernadette sighed then nodded" You're right we'll have a girls night and we'll break it to her then, i just hope she doesn't do anything stupid when we tell her"

With the agreement they went back to watching the guys talking about comics and sci fi, whilst watching how Gemma was acting around Leonard, to see if she truly did view him as more than a friend.

* * *

The following night Bernadette Amy and Cheryl were making there way up to Penny's apartment

"So what are we going to say to her? asked Amy

"I don't know and i can't believe Penny never told me her relationship with Sheldon is not real, i've been her friend longer" Cheryl looking at the other two a bit dejected

"Well maybe she told us because we where with her when she got upset, plus while you might of known her longer we know the guys better than you"

They arrived at Penny's apartment and steeled themselves for what might happen next, Bernadette knocked on and a moment later they where greeted by a smiling Penny.

"Hey girls you're early come on in"

They followed Penny inside with Amy shutting the door behind her, Bernadette and Cheryl sat at either end of her couch and Amy made her way to the chair leaving only one place for Penny to sit.

Penny came and sat down between Bernadette and Cheryl putting four glasses on the table and pouring wine into each one."So what do you guys wanna do tonight?" Penny asked before taking a sip of her wine.

For a moment no them answered and Penny wondered what was going on, but before she could ask Bernadette spoke" Penny Leonard has a new friend who Amy and i met yesterday"

"Really good for him whats does he do?is he like the others you know into comics and movies and stuff?"

"Actually it's a she and yes she is into them"

Penny almost spat her wine out, had Leonard met someone she knew that could happen but didn't think it would be so soon, she wondered if she hadn't lied to him and told him the truth this might not of happened. But she had and this was her reward for that but it was more like a punishment, Leonard would never be hers again.

They all where watching Penny for her reaction but Penny seemed to be lost in her thoughts until they noticed her eyes start to well up and tears began to flow.

Both Bernadette and Cheryl hugged her, "Penny they are just friends nothing more"said Bernadette, Bernadette decided not to tell her that she and Amy believed that Gemma wanted more then friendship.

After a while Penny stopped crying and picked up the wine bottle pouring herself a generous amount almost knocking it back in one go, the girls looked at her worried what she was doing.

"Woah Penny slow down you don't want to be drinking so much to fast"

Penny turned to Cheryl" I need this, if it's bothering you you can leave all of you" she answered before finishing off her glass and filling another and proceeding to gulp it down then refilling it again.

"Penny" Bernadette said softly" Getting drunk isn't going to make you feel any better"

"No but it will help me forget for a while that i'm probably never going to get back together with Leonard ever again, i don't know what to do i love him and i want be his again" she said then finishing off another glass and pouring the remains of the bottle in her glass.

The girls didn't know what to do as they watched Penny drinking then get up stumbling to the kitchen clearly feeling the effects of all the wine she drank so far, seeing her grab another bottle before stumbling back to the couch, not even bothering with a glass this time just opening the bottle and drinking straight from the bottle.

Bernadette decided to act grabbing the bottle from Penny's hands" Penny that's enough you're not having anymore"she said sounding like Howard's mother.

Penny just glared at her"You can't tell me what to do get out all you NOW"

"No Penny you need us with you whilst your like this so you don't do something else you regret"Amy tried to plead.

"What are you saying that when i drink i make mistakes?before anyone could answer there was a knock at the door.

Knock knock knock"Penny"

Knock knock knock"Penny"

Knock knock knock"Penny"

"Go away Sheldon" Penny screamed, Amy got up and decided to answer the door", Sheldon was surprised to see Amy"Amy"

"Sheldon this isn't a good time""But i need to remind Penny that she has too take me to work in the morning"

Penny turned to Sheldon, still in a raised voice" I'm not taking you to work in the morning find your own damn way there"

Sheldon saw the wine "Penny you shouldn't be drinking when you know you are taking me to work in the morning, you know that it's in the relationship agreement that no alcohol is to be consumed within 24hours of driving me anywhere"

Penny snapped, all her anger regret and frustration at what had happened between her and Sheldon and the loss of her relationship with Leonard finally came out, and was aimed at the other person responsible for it.

Penny stumbled to her feet" Sheldon i am not taking you to work in the morning if you so much as knock on my door tomorrow i will punch you in the throat, and one more thing this whatever it is between us is over we're through. It was never a relationship anyway i was with you to punish myself for what happened between us that night and for hurting Leonard, also you should never of got into bed with me without my permission. I have never had nor will i ever have any feelings for you, i am still and will always be in love with Leonard, but because of you i have lost him probably forever. Now go away and don't come back or i swear to god i'll hurt you.

"But how am i supposed to get to work in the morning?"Penny just glared at him and started to move forward, not knowing what Penny was going to do Cheryl and Bernadette grabbed hold of her to stop her getting to Sheldon.

When Sheldon saw the look in Penny's eyes he backed away, however he was surprised with what he heard next" Sheldon if you ant i'll give you a lift in the morning"

Sheldon was stunned "Thank you Amy Farrah Fowler"

"You're welcome Sheldon but i think it's best that you go before something happens"glancing behind her to see a angry looking Penny trying to get free of the grips Bernadette and Cheryl had on her.

"You are right goodnight Amy" with that he practically ran back to his apartment quickly opening and shutting the door.

Closing Penny's door then turning to see that Penny had been pulled back down to the couch and was crying again,and being comforted by Cheryl and Bernadette.

Penny was crying not only because she was upset but out of relief that her fake relationship with Sheldon was now over,but what about Leonard was he in a new relationship and not telling anyone. Or was this woman just a friend like she had been told she hoped more than anything that it was only friendship, because she didn't know what she'd do if he'd moved on.

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 **Thankyou for taking the time to read this chapter again i apologise for it not being that good writing isn't my strong suit and i lack the creativity of other authors, anyway please review and let me know what you think**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:Thank you for the reviews on my previous chapter**

 **A/N2: I apologise in advance for the poor quality of this chapter, I just couldn't seem to get it right I rewrote it several times but still it doesn't feel right, this is the best I could do with my poor writing skills,so I am sorry if it's not good.**

Weeks past since the incident at 4b, during that time Sheldon had stopped going over to Penny for anything, and Penny no longer came over to 4A for takeout with Sheldon, Raj and sometimes the gang. The gang had started hanging around together again in 4A, Howard had even started talking to Sheldon again ,Bernadette told them that Penny was now spending more time with Cheryl and other waitresses from the Cheesecake Factory regulary going out clubbing then coming home drunk.

Sheldon on the other hand was happier than he had been in a while ,Amy now took him to work whenever Raj couldn't, Sheldon found himself looking forward to these days because they spent there journeys to work playing car games and counterfactuals. One morning on there way to work Amy decided to ask a question that she had been thinking about ever since he came to her and told about having feelings for Penny.

"Sheldon can I ask you something?"

Sheldon looked at Amy"Of course what's your question".

"When Penny ended your relationship why haven't you appeared to be affected by it?"

"Well Amy to be honest i'm glad it's over I no longer have to deal with her constant and incessant need to talk about uninteresting topics and when I tried to talk to her about things I like she wouldn't pay attention".

Amy decided it was a good opportunity to ask him something that was on her mind' _Did he really have feelings for her or had he just thought he did?_ " Sheldon what made you come to the conclusion you had feelings for Penny?"

Sheldon thought for a moment" Well after what happened that night with Penny, I went over all relevant information and the conclusion that I arrived at was I never stopped her kissing me was because I had feelings for Penny"

Amy glanced at Sheldon" Sheldon are you sure you included all the variables?"

Sheldon looked at Amy like she called him stupid" Yes Amy I included all variables"

"Okay I know from Penny that you had been drinking, did you include the alcohol consumption in your analysis?"

Sheldon looked surprised' _he realised that he didn't factor in the alcohol consumption in to his deliberation over what happened that night, could it be that the alcohol was the reason why he didn't stop her? he was going to have to rethink everything'_ " No Amy i didn't if you excuse me i have to think this over".

Amy continued to drive Sheldon to work, whilst he was lost in his thoughts probably going over everything that happened that night, she hoped that he would realise it was all one big mistake. That he broke up with her because he came to the wrong conclusion and he actually doesn't have any feelings for Penny, because just like Leonard still loved Penny, she still loved Sheldon.

When they arrived at Caltech, she pulled up waiting for him to get out and his customary reminder to pick him up later, however he stayed sat there still lost in thought.

"Sheldon we're here don't you want to go in?"

Sheldon turned to Amy still not saying anything for a few moments" Amy this hard for me to say I think I made a error in analysis when going over what happened with Penny, I have realised the alcohol variable changes the outcome. Amy I made a mistake I didn't actually have feelings for Penny, my slow reaction was due to alcohol, which also led me to make another error I should never of broke up with you, i'm sorry".

Amy was happy, he'd realised he never had feelings for Penny and regretted breaking up with her, but was he willing to try again with her but on new terms, she decided now was a good a time as any to ask.

"Sheldon I forgive you, would you consider restarting our relationship but with some amendments?"

Sheldon was both shocked and surprised but also a little worried what these amendments would be " Amy i would very much like restart our relationship, however i need to know what these amendments are?"

"Of course Sheldon when i pick you up tonight we can discuss the revised relationship agreement with the amendments i want"

Sheldon was a little apprehensive but nodded" Very well we'll discuss it later, goodbye Amy Farrah Fowler"

"Goodbye Sheldon" and with that Sheldon got out and went to work, Amy drove to her work unable to remove the smile on her face.

* * *

Amy and Sheldon worked out a new relationship agreement with the amendments Amy wanted, Sheldon now had to give her a kiss upon greeting her and saying goodbye. Sheldon tried to protest that he finds kissing a unnecessary exchange of bodily fluid, but Amy reminded him that he had been kissing Penny so why not kiss her to which Sheldon had conceded . It also had more hand holding included along with cuddling and more frequent date nights along with them doing things together she wanted, Sheldon agreed to them all his wanting to be back together with Amy over ruling his stubbornness.

* * *

The girls tried spending time with Penny so she wouldn't go out so much and coming home drunk, but it was becoming difficult for them Penny was acting the same way she did when Leonard dated Priya. The difference was that they didn't know what was going on with Leonard and Gemma but Penny clearly believed that Leonard was dating her and she couldn't deal with it. The girls made there way up to the fourth floor making there way to 4A but stopped at and both decided to go and see if Penny wanted to come over and hang out with the gang.

Bernadette knocked on and after a moment Penny answered "Oh hey guys what's up?"

"Well we where wondering if you would like to come over and hang out with everyone?" Bernadette said trying to sound cheery.

Penny looked at them both and sighed "I'm sorry guys I can't do it not yet anyway"

"Oh come on bestie suck it up, everyone misses you"

"Really Amy even the one person I really want to see but I know isn't there?"

Bernadette shook her head" Penny you really have to let him go it's been almost 2 months since you last saw him I don't think he's coming back anytime soon " seeing the look on Penny's face she quickly added" That doesn't mean he never will, but you can't just avoid hanging round with us because he's not there".

"Sorry not tonight maybe some other time " with that Penny shut the door.

Amy turned to Bernadette "I feel so sorry for Penny ,I have Sheldon back but she still doesn't have Leonard, does he even know she isn't with him anymore?".

"I doubt it , and were not going to tell him either, that's for Penny to do when ever she's ready, we'll just have to be there for her in the mean time".

Things didn't change infact they got worse Penny was hardly ever seen by the gang, and Leonard was also seeing less of them aswell spending more time with Gemma, however when asked he kept reiterating that they where just friends nothing more.

* * *

Halloween was coming up on Thursday and Sheldon had roped the group into dressing up as the Justice League like they had at New Years once before, Penny had refused to take part saying it brought back a bad memory. Amy decided to be Black Canary much to the annoyance of Sheldon who wanted her to be Wonder Woman, but Amy told her that only Penny could be Wonder Woman in there group. Bernadette reluctantly dressed up as Zantana, however Sheldon was unhappy with her choice as well, the group actually had a nice winning best dressed group.

At the same time Leonard was in a night club with Gemma and her friends he really didn't want to be here but she had pleaded with him to go she had told him on Halloween they wore fancy dress .This made Leonard agree, when they got in the club however he found that others where dressed up but nothing like he was. The women seemed to be dressed as nurses, maids schoolgirls and a bunch of others stuff all with a common theme of being smaller versions than was practical. So here he was with Gemma and a few of her friends dressed as superman and wishing he weren't here, Gemma was dressed as a doctor, but her white coat was way to small and he could see that all she had on underneath on her top half anyway was a bra. Her legs where also bare and he wondered as too what she had on her bottom half, hoping at least it was something to protect her modesty, her friends all dressed as nurses in different version of revealing outfits. After a few drinks he was brought out of his thoughts of Gemma when his gaze fell on the dance floor or more importantly to the blonde dancing with her back to him, the way she moved reminded him of Penny. Thinking about her brought on a bout of sadness he was still in love with her and thought he would get used to not seeing her but he missed even more. He had heard all about her going out and getting drunk, wondering what was wrong with her, he told Bernadette to keep a eye on her to make sure she doesn't do something she regrets.. He continued to watch the blonde woman dance seeing a rather buff guy approach her , but to his surprise she simply moved away and started dancing somewhere else. Whilst he was doing this he hadn't noticed Gemma staring intently at him she had caught sight of where he was looking, wondering why he never seemed to look at her that way or make a move on her.

Gemma after a few more drinks feeling surprisingly nervous tapped Leonard's shoulder"Leonard don't you like my outfit?" Gemma asked him with a pout.

Leonard turned around and was stuck with what to say she made a incredibly sexy looking doctor" Erm sure you look amazing" smiling at her.

Gemma smiled and then before Leonard realised her lips where on his, he was shocked at first but soon reciprocated, until he realised who he was kissing , so pulled away from her.

It was a bad idea Gemma looked hurt that he stopped her kissing him" Leonard why did you stop? don't you like me?" Gemma was on the verge of tears.

Leonard felt awful he really liked her but it seemed he'd fallen into the same problem he had with Alex he hadn't noticed how much she liked him

"Gemma of course i like you it's just i don't know i'm not sure i want a relationship again anytime soon"

"Leonard i know you are still hurting over your ex, but it's been months since you broke up you should be moving on ,other women would be happy to date you" then almost shyly adding" I would be happy to date you"

She had a point he hadn't seen Penny in months and she had rarely contacted him even though it was her idea, he wondered if she even thought about him the way he does her. Then there is Gemma a young beautiful woman who ever since he met her has gone out of her way to do things with him. of course he now knew the reason why, she liked him. He had told her the truth he did like her too but he wasn't sure if he wanted to date her, but he reasoned maybe he should take a chance and try dating her maybe it'll help him try to move on.

"Gemma would you like to go out with me sometime?"

Gemma's face lit up, yes Leonard i would love to go on a date with you" then launching herself back at Leonard kissing him fiercely, Leonard was taken aback with her response, hoping he was doing the right thing with agreeing to date Gemma.

* * *

Thanksgiving came and went the gang spent it together along with Bernadette's father but minus Leonard and Penny at Howard's mothers.

Penny had gone home to Omaha the week before and hadn't yet come back

Leonard spent his with Gemma and her family, feeling quite awkward as her boyfriend because whilst they had been on a few dates Leonard had been avoiding doing anything too intimate with her. The most they done was kiss, he knew Gemma wanted more but he wasn't able to bring himself to it as Penny was still always on his mind. He kept thinking that if he took the next step with Gemma he would be giving up on Penny and that was something he wouldn't do. Things had started to become strained with Gemma as a result, she was getting more annoyed with his reluctance to be more intimate with her. He couldn't blame her, but what was surprising was she seemed to want to continue dating him, maybe she thought if she hung in there long enough he would give in to her. Leonard didn't want to string her along so had actually started thinking of ended it with her but for some reason couldn't, maybe it was the same reason as her ,wondering if he hung in there long enough maybe he'll start to feel more for her and he'd start to forget about Penny.

* * *

It was about a week before Christmas when Penny returned to Pasadena , feeling refreshed and motivated the trip back home had worked wonders on her opening up to her mother. She revealed everything that had happened since that fateful night, her mother listened intently till she had finished, before telling Penny that all this could of been avoided. Then telling her had she come clean with Leonard straight away and then not lied to him, he would of still forgiven her and maybe they would still be together.

She made her way up to her apartment, Whilst at home with her parents and telling her mom what had happened , she made a decision when she came back to Pasadena ,she was determined to get Leonard back no matter how long it took or who he was with. Her mom had some reservations over her daughters decision but didn't want to upset her by interfering , only telling her to prepare herself for the chance that he might of moved on with someone else.

When she got the fourth floor she quickly went into her apartment dropping her luggage before going across to 4A, she stood outside the door taking a deep breath before knocking.

The door was opened by Raj who was excited that she returned and pulled her into a hug,she then slowly walked in shutting the door before turning to the gang

"Hey guys" she smiled whilst giving them a little wave.

Bernadette and Amy both jumped up a crushed her in a hug which Raj decided to join in on "It so good to see you again i'm glad your back bestie"

"Awe thanks Ames"

"We are all glad your back right?" Bernadette added glaring at both her husband and Sheldon daring them to say something different.

* * *

Leonard was still with Gemma, he hadn't broken up with her, because he still didn't want to hurt her, but he still didn't feel that strongly for her and he knew why it was the case. It was because after seeing the girl at the club on Halloween that reminded him of Penny Leonard was unable to get Penny off his mind, he really did still miss her and he knew he loved her, he was seriously considering going to 4A and hanging out with everyone. Although he still didn't like the idea of seeing Penny and Sheldon together as a couple he was now more willing to endure it just so he could be with Penny. He did wonder what Penny might think of his new look, these past few months of going the gym and swimming had really started to show now he now had a quite toned body with more muscle definition than he thought he'd ever have. Also he dressed now more appropriately actual quite stylish he thought, his her was no longer gelled he left it loose which Gemma said made him look even more handsome. He now also had a tan having started to spend more time at the beach with Gemma, which he realised showed how pasty he really was. But the biggest change was he had laser eye surgery which improved his vision immensely, of course he still didn't have perfect vision but now he only needed glasses for reading and driving.

As for Gemma she had stopped trying to get more intimate with him, he guessed she was just going to wait things out and hope things will change between them, he realised it reminded him of how he was with Penny.

* * *

It was Christmas the gang where having dinner at Amy's, they had all turned up at different times Sheldon had been first along with Raj who drove him there, then came Howard and Bernadette and finally Penny. All they where waiting on was the final two guests which only Amy and Bernadette knew who they where.

It was Penny who was the one to ask" Amy who are the other two places for?"

"Oh it's just some friends who will be joining us"

"Amy why do you have guessed coming that you never informed me about?" Sheldon asked

Amy was a bit stuck for what to say, luckily Bernadette helped her out" Sheldon she doesn't have to tell you who she is inviting into her home"

"Okay gee I was just wondering that's all"

"Lets all just sit down, and when they arrive then we can start"

They all took seats which unusually had there names on them Penny found she was sat next to Bernadette and one of the guessed on the other side, her curiousity about who they where ended with a knock on there door

* * *

Leonard was nervous this was the first time he was going to see Penny since that night at Raj's , but at the same time excited as he made his way to Amy's with Gemma, who for some reason was excited to meet Penny and Sheldon. He was also wondering why they where all here at Amy's the only thing he could think of was maybe Amy had forgiven Sheldon and Penny. Taking a moment to calm himself he felt Gemma grab his hand a give it a quick squeeze, he turned and smiled giving her a little nod before knocking on the door.

Amy answered the door" You're here come on in everyone's waiting"

Gemma was first through the door saying a quick hello to the one's she knew before introducing herself to the others" Hi i'm Gemma"

Hearing the name made Penny realise who this was' _Damn'_ she thoughts' _she's much prettier than I thought she would be, but then a realisation hit her if Gemma was here that means'_ turning quickly to the door to see the one person she had craved to see all these months and her jaw dropped he looked amazing positively dropped dead gorgeous. She just couldn't take her eyes off him seeing his knew look was making her feel flushed like with her first ever crush, but damn he looked good the way he dressed made him look really good but it was his hair that she noticed next all loose and curly like it was when they got up in the morning , before in her honest opinion ruined it by gelling it back. He looked at her smiling that warm smile of that she loved so much and his eyes oh my god he wasn't wearing any glasses, she wondered was he trying contacts again it didn't matter because he looked so handsome without them.

Leonard was staring at Penny and She was just staring back it was if they where the only two in the room.

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you to anyone who managed to get through this chapter I again apologise if you where not happy with it.**

 **A/N2: Now for anyone who is reading my other story (The Bet) , I will be writing the chapter for that next, hopefully i'll have it posted as soon as I can.**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Sorry for the delay in this chapter, i didn't realise it had been four months since i last updated this story. But i was really stuck, i had wrote myself into a corner with no idea how to get out of it. I still don't think this is a good way out, but it was the best i could do, so sorry if it doesn't really work.**

Leonard was mesmerised by Penny, she looked more beautiful than he could ever imagine, the biggest change he noticed was her hair it was darker than the last time he saw her, it was similar to how it looked when they got back together and did the beta test. He could see the sadness in her eyes and wondered why she was, maybe her relationship with Sheldon wasn't as good as she hoped it would be. But that was another thing Penny wasn't sitting next to Sheldon, she was sat quite far from him , he was brought out of his thoughts by Gemma touching his arm.

* * *

If Leonard hadn't been staring at Penny he would of seen the sad look on Gemma's face, she wasn't happy the moment that her boyfriend saw his ex they where suddenly in a world of there own. Gemma was heartbroken he never looked at her that way, and she now unfortunately realised that he probably never would , he obviously still loved Penny and that was the reason why Leonard wouldn't be more intimate with her. She wondered if she should just give up and end there relationship now as it wasn't really going anywhere, but she was torn because Leonard meant a lot to her. ' _But what if seeing his ex again means he will never commit to me?_ 'she thought ' _maybe they will be just friends?' ._ A quick look at Leonard and Penny and she knew that wouldn't be all they would be. They where clearly still drawn to one another and the look on Leonard's face showed it and Penny's face showed it too, they could never be just friends for long.

Amy broke the everyone out of there thoughts "Okay guys take a seat so we can start our meal".

Leonard looked at the table and saw there was only two places available one next to Raj facing Penny or at the end of the table next to Penny Leonard wasn't sure which one to sit at.

Gemma was also pondering where to sit she either sat next to Penny which would mean Leonard and Penny would be facing each other or she sits opposite Penny in which case Leonard would be sat next to Penny. She opted for the latter reasoning that while she didn't want Leonard sitting next to Penny it was better than opposite her where they could look at each other easily. This way she could see if they where trying to look at each other, so Gemma made her way to the seat opposite Penny, and Leonard sat at the end next to Penny giving her a glance as he sat down.

The others had all just looked on will different feelings about what was happening, Sheldon of course was not he was busy looking at Amy who was feeling uncomfortable. Bernadette was wishing that things would play out differently ,Howard was wondering what was going on and Raj felt sorry for Gemma he was the only one to see the look on her face when Leonard Penny where staring at each other.

After taking there seats Amy brought over the food with the help of Sheldon and Raj, the meal went well everyone talking among themselves Happily for Gemma Bernadette was keeping Penny distracted.

Leonard on the other hand was torn with what to do seeing and being near Penny was overwhelming for him but surprisingly in a good way, he had missed her so much over these past few months. However he was now dating Gemma but he himself knew it wasn't going to last much longer as he had not been putting much effort in to there relationship with Gemma. He felt bad about it because Gemma was a amazing woman and any guy would be lucky to be dating her except him of course , for him she was missing one thing , she wasn't Penny. So Leonard decided he had to tell her the truth whilst he did care for her a lot he could never give himself to her like she wanted as his heart still belonged to Penny and probably had from the moment they met.

After a while of them talking among themselves and to Leonard's surprise Gemma was talking quite happily to Raj he actually wondered if she would be better off with him after all Raj would love her the way she deserved.

Amy got everyone's attention by tapping her glass of wine "Guys i'd just like to thank you all for coming, especially Leonard i know you've been missed from the group these past months".

Getting a round of agreements from the gang well almost everyone Sheldon not so much

" I know were not giving presents out this year but i have a announcement to make" turning to Sheldon and seeing him give her a nod she continued " Sheldon and i are back together and in the New year we will be moving in together".

Lenny was stunned ' _When did Sheldon and Amy start seeing each other again, but more importantly when did Penny and Sheldon break up? sure he was relieved that they where no longer together, but why hadn't anyone told him or more importantly why hadn't Penny'_ He turned to Penny with a look of confusion.

Penny was shocked and uncomfortable she hadn't told Leonard that she and Sheldon where through, and by the look on Leonard's face he clearly was wondering why she hadn't' _Why hadn't she? after all didn't she want to be with Leonard again, of course she did but maybe why she hadn't told him was due to the woman currently sat next to him and she didn't want to interfere in there relationship._

Gemma saw the confused look on Leonard's face and the look of panic on Penny's, and then she was hit with another realisation if Penny was now single again he might want to get back together. After all he had gone out of his way not to do much with her most guys would be all over her but Leonard wasn't and she believed Penny was the reason behind why he hadn't.

Amy could see the looks on the Leonard Penny's faces "I'm sorry Leonard that this is the way you found out that Penny and Sheldon broke up, we thought Penny would of told you by now".

Everyone turned to look at Leonard and see how he reacts" No it's okay i am a little surprised to hear about it that all , but i'm happy for you Amy".

Penny finally said something " Leonard i'm so sorry I never told you but I didn't think you would be interested".

Leonard frowned at this " Penny of course I would be interested you're still my friend and this was important".

Penny smiled at him calling her his friend" You're right I should of told you" hoping it was okay she grabbed his hand " Do you forgive me?" pouting at him and giving him her best puppy dog eyes.

The way Penny was looking at him made his heart rate pick up and he let out a little gasp, she was just so beautiful and when she did what she was doing now he was unable to resist," Of course I forgive you " giving her his only for her smile.

Gemma just looked on silently wishing they hadn't come here , as she witnessed what was going on between her for now boyfriend and his ex, but she couldn't say anything, so she tried to get his attention back on her "Leonard".

Hearing Gemma Penny quickly let go of Leonard's hand and turned to Bernadette, whilst Leonard turned to look at Gemma " What's up?"

"Are you okay you did look a little shocked then ".

Smiling " I'm fine like I said I was just surprised"

Penny was half listening, and decided if she was to be back in Leonard's life and hopefully one day be back together with him, she needed to be nice to his current girlfriend. So turning to look at her " So Gemma how did you and Leonard meet?".

Gemma was surprised Penny had spoke to her, thinking for a moment before telling her what she told the guys " Well I went to a cooking class and Leonard was there we got paired up and just hit it off".

"So is that when you started dating?"

" No that was at Halloween, we went to a club in fancy dress and i asked him out sort of, well more like got him to ask me out".

Penny nodded her head ,she didn't really want to know about there dating , she wanted to know if the changes in Leonard where because of her or Leonard " You guys do anything else besides the cooking class?", yes she was being nosy but she didn't care.

Gemma was wondering why Penny was asking all these question was it out of curiosity or was she trying to find something else out" Well he told me he wanted to go the gym but was scared , I was already a member of one so asked him to join me and I taught him what to do".

Okay Penny was a little jealous that Leonard had gone the gym with Gemma but had never wanted to go with her, although it was comforting to know it was him who wanted to go and she just helped. "That's nice I could never get him to go with me"

Leonard looked at Penny "Penny it wasn't that I didn't want to go with you it's that I just didn't want to go because i was scared, but recently I decided I wanted to start going ". smiling at her.

Penny blushed a little at the way he looked at her " So Leonard is there other things you started doing that you never used to do?".

"Well I've also started swimming".

Penny's eyes went wide " You've started swimming? wow, well good for you Leonard". Penny decided to go for it he was talking to her and she didn't want him to stop " So I noticed you let your hair go loose, I always told you it looked better than being gelled".

Leonard nodded " Yeah you where right I should of listened to you ".

Penny had a smug smile on her face "See I told you you should listen to me more often".

Leonard laughed " Okay okay, you where right i'll never doubt you again".

"Good now you know better, so tell me about you new dress sense".

"Well surprisingly that is all me "

Penny looked at him before putting her hand on his arm " Hmm I like it, but I did love your old dress sense".

Leonard couldn't describe the feeling he felt when Penny grabbed his arm and started running her hand up and down it, at the same time Gemma was getting annoyed with Penny. Thankfully Penny took her hand off Leonard " So I noticed the biggest change". looking Leonard straight in the eyes leaning slightly forward " No more glasses".

"Yeah I decided to do something about it"

"What you do contacts?".

Shaking his head " No laser eye surgery, it's improved my vision but I still need to wear glasses when driving and reading".

For some reason Penny couldn't help her self as she put her hand on the side of his face touching where the frame used to rest on the sides of his face " Well I like it but I think I prefer the glasses ".

Penny's touch was so soft and his mind filled with happy memories of when she touched it him like this, although he knew it was wrong as he had a girlfriend but he didn't want her to stop.

Clearing his throat "So Penny been on any auditions lately?".

Removing her hand Penny sighed " Yes but I haven't had any call backs".

Leonard gave her a sympathectic smile "Sorry to hear that, but i'm sure someday they'll see how great a actress you are and you will be famous someday, but promise me that you won't forget us or forget me".

"Leonard I would never forget you no matter how famous I am , I promise I will make sure you are at all my premiere's no matter what our relationship is".

* * *

Penny and Leonard continued to talk for the rest of the evening but where so caught up in there own conversation, that they didn't notice that the rest of the gang would stop talking amongst themselves and would watch them from time to time. All with differing opinions at what was going on, Amy and Bernadette both wanted them to reconnect and hopefully get back together as they had seen how miserable Penny was without Leonard. Howard was hoping for girl fight between Penny and Gemma , Sheldon was hoping they would stop , Raj was watching Gemma and Gemma was realising her relationship with Leonard was probably doomed.

Everyone eventually went back to talking amongst themselves leaving Leonard and Penny to talk to one another as though there was no one else there, Raj distracted Gemma by talking to her. She like Raj he was sweet and she really wanted to listen to what he was talking about but couldn't help being distracted by what Leonard and Penny where talking about.

It was getting late and Gemma had finally had enough of Leonard only talking to Penny , so wanted to leave "Leonard i want to go i'm getting tired".

Leonard look at Gemma then back at Penny he was torn with what to do he knew he should go with Gemma. But this was the first time he'd seen Penny in months and he was enjoying talking to her. It had felt like it did before he had gone to the North Sea when things between him and Penny where at there best. Leonard was truly torn but Penny made the decision for him " Leonard, you should take her home".

Looking intently at Penny he sighed " Okay" getting up Gemma followed him up looking around the group " Thanks for inviting us we had a nice time and Merry Christmas". turning to look at Penny " It was nice seeing you again ".

Smiling back at him " It was nice seeing you again too" taking a gamble " Leonard i was wondering if we could get together and talk some more ?" looking at Gemma " If it's okay with you".

Gemma's first instinct was to say no, but after seeing how they where together and the realisation that he will never be the way he was with Penny with her, she just nodded " Okay ".

Penny smiled at Gemma " Thanks" turning back to Leonard " Get in touch soon okay?". Leonard just smiled " I will i promise!" with that they both left.

Leonard knew something was wrong with Gemma , as she was quiet he was wondering what was going on with her although he suspected it had something to with Penny. Penny as soon as he got talking to Penny he just couldn't stop all those months without her , he just felt like he needed to catch up on what he had missed since he last saw her. Leonard also realised he could never love Gemma , he still loved Penny and he decided he had to end the relationship as it was unfair to Gemma.

Gemma was going over what she had witnessed between Leonard and his ex, the way they where together it was like they just belonged together and she knew she would never have that with him. She made her mind up she was going to end there relationship because it was essentially a lost cause, she hoped they would remain friends though as she couldn't imagine her life without him now. Maybe she could become friends with Penny as well, also Leonard's friend Raj was kinda cute maybe if he's single they could get together.

When they reached Gemma's She turned to Leonard giving him a sad smile which he returned, leaning over to kiss him for what could be one of a few remaining times.

"Leonard , i don't think this is going to work between us"

Leonard was a bit taken aback that she thought the sane way he did, letting out a sigh "I know, i'm sorry i really tried to make this work, it was just" trailing of at the end.

Gemma knew what he was going to say " You still love her don't you?"

Leonard looked at her "Was it that obvious?".

Shaking her head " Not at first , but after a while i knew something was not right i've never dated a guy who hasn't tried to get me into bed, but i thought at the time it was you wanted to take it slow. However after seeing the way you to looked at each other and the way you both where so engrossed with talking to each other literally ignoring everyone else. I knew then that you could never be with me the way i wanted because she still had your heart and by the look on her face when she saw you, you still have hers".

"I'm so sorry Gemma that i couldn't give you what you wanted, i never set out to hurt you".

"I know you didn't , it's partly my own fault too, i knew you'd recently broke up with her, i just didn't realise that you where far more hung up on her than i thought".

Taking Leonard's hand " I will always care about you and i have loved having you in my life these past few months".

"Me too"

Smiling " Good, because i would like us to stay friends"

"I'd like that too Gemma, you can still hang out with us if you want, i'm sure they would love for you too especially the girls".

"Maybe, i hope we can still train together, and do the cooking class too"

Leonard nodded " Sure i'd like that and the swimming also"

"Of course the swimming we have to much fun not to carry on doing that".

Deciding to take a gamble "Leonard would you be okay with me trying to make friends with Penny".

"Of course i wouldn't, that would be great i'm sure she'd enjoy having someone new to girls night".

Leaning over kissing Leonard fully on the mouth pulling away she looked him straight in the eye putting her hand on the side of his face "Well this wasn't how i expected our Christmas to end, "

Leonard looked down " I'm sorry".

Gemma smiled stroking his cheek " Goodbye Leonard".

Looking at her again smiling one last time at him before she got out of the car, Leonard watched her leave wondering if he had made a mistake, but quickly discarded that thought. While he had enjoyed dating her he was unable to go further than making out with her because in the back of his mind he could never let go of Penny. He wondered if he was doomed to be single for the rest of his life , if was never able to let go of the woman who had stolen his heart the moment he saw her.

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you for reading.**

 **A/N2: If anyone is wondering why i had Gemma give up on her relationship with Leonard so easily, it was because i made a point of having Leonard not put much effort into it. Gemma knew he wasn't and was always bothered by the fact he wouldn't get more intimate with her, she always suspected it was something to do with his ex. So after witnessing his interaction with Penny, she was annoyed, mainly because of the realisation that she was right that Penny was the reason for why he wouldn't commit to her.**

 **Please Review and let me know what you think.**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews they are what keeps me going, here's the next chapter i hope it's okay.**

In the week since Christmas the gang had been meeting regularly Penny was happy she was getting to see Leonard more regularly , however they had yet to talk. Gemma had reached out to Penny trying to make friends with her she was still jealous at the hold on Leonard's heart she had, even though her and Leonard where no longer together . Gemma and Leonard had decided not to tell anyone they had broken up just yet, it had been Gemma's idea, wanting to see how Penny would be around her whilst having her think her and Leonard where still together. She had quickly realised that Penny was a really nice person and had welcomed her warmly into her group of girls and had even invited her to girls night.

It was on one of Penny's girl's nights that everything changed

Gemma, Bernadette and Amy where sat on the couch whilst Penny was on the chair they all had a glass of wine and talking about all sort of things when the topic turned to relationships.

Gemma looked over at Amy " So Amy are you looking forward to moving in with Sheldon?".

Both Amy and Bernadette looked over to Penny seeing what her reaction was to hearing that question, only to see that Penny looked like she didn't care

Amy answered "Oh yes I am , I won't be staying in the same room as him as i'll be in Leonard's old room , but i'll get to see everyday whilst where not in work so i'm happy ".

Turning to Bernadette " How are things between you and Howard?!.

"Great except he always wants us to go to his mothers , when all I want to do is spend time with him alone".

"Why don't you tell him that?".

"Don't you think I've tried , but he always comes back with how lonely his mother is".

"Well why don't you try and try and balance it out between spending time with his mother and spending time alone together".

Turning now to Penny " So Penny anything on the relationship front ?".

Looking at them waiting for a answer, Penny simply shook her head, Bernadette and Amy both looked at her sympathectically as they both knew she didn't want to date anyone other than who Gemma was currently with.

Gemma decided it was time to let them know " Guys "

When she saw them all looking at her she continued" I have some news".

"What is it ?". Bernadette said.

Looking at the three women then looking straight at Penny " Leonard and I have broken up".

On hearing this Penny did everything she could not to show how happy the news of there break up was making her, Leonard was single again maybe now she could see if he want to be with her again.

Gemma could see the faintest of smiles grace Penny's lips , clearly this was good news to Penny , maybe she thinks she and Leonard can get back together again.

Bernadette had also saw the slight smile on Penny's face , she knew this was good news for her friend but it didn't mean that Leonard would come running back to her though as she had hurt him.

It was Penny who spoke first after what Gemma just revealed "I'm sorry to hear that, did he say why?".

Still looking directly at Penny "Actually it was me "

This surprised all of them " Really ?"was all she got from Amy.

"Yeah, I realised that it wasn't going to work as Leonard didn't seemed that commited to our relationship and in all the time we where together he did everything he could to avoid being intimate with me".

It was Bernadette who asked the question next "You mean you and he never?".

Shaking her head " No , the most we ever did was make out".

Penny had to hide her smile knowing that Leonard hadn't slept with Gemma it actually made her happy knowing she was the last person he had slept with. She wondered whether the fact that Leonard and Gemma hadn't gotten beyond making out, was him not wanting the be in the relationship with Gemma in the first place maybe just maybe he still wanted her.

"Well i'm sorry to hear that Gemma, how did Leonard take it?". Penny said.

Turning back to Penny "Quite well actually, I actually got the impression he was planning on breaking up with me also".

This surprised all the girls " Really, why would you think that?". Bernadette said.

"Because he didn't seem bothered when I told him that I wanted to end our relationship ".

"When did you break up?". asked Amy.

Looking over at Penny again " It was when he dropped me off after the Christmas party".

Penny was instantly brought back to the memories of that evening , it had been so great to see Leonard and to spend time with him again , she had enjoyed their conversation immensely. Thinking about that day brought a smile to Penny's face, which Gemma saw and frowned at, Penny saw Gemma 's frown and stopped smiling and looked away.

The rest of the night for the girls proceeded like any other girl night drinking gossiping and watching movies, but all the girls could see that Penny seemed distracted and they all pretty much knew why.

* * *

It was New Years Eve and the entire gang where gathered in 4A, to celebrate the New Year, it was a few minutes till midnight Leonard watched Bernadette and Howard get ready for their New Years kiss. Turning slightly he saw Amy doing the same with a reluctant looking Sheldon, he saw Gemma and Raj appearing as though they where going to do the same. It didn't take him long to realise that there was only him and Penny with no one to kiss, looking over at her wondering what she was thinking.

Penny had also noticed that only her and Leonard had no one to kiss, but Penny was happy as it gave her a excuse to kiss him something she had missed over the last 6 months. Ever since she found out that Leonard was single again she had wanted him back ' _maybe getting a New Years kiss from him would be a good start'_. With that thought she walked up to Leonard whilst smiling at him which he readily returned.

"Hey you".

"Hey".

"So it looks like you and i have no one to kiss at midnight".

"Yeah it's okay though".

"Really" putting her arms around his neck " Wouldn't you like to kiss me?".

Leonard could see the look in her eyes one he hadn't seen in a while ' _god he so wanted to kiss her'_ he thought, " Of course i would".

Penny grinned " Good because i want to kiss you ".

As it struck midnight everyone wished each other Happy New Year, then kissing there partner.

Leonard and Penny just stared at each other only faintly hearing the rest of them celebrating, Penny smiled "Happy New Year Leonard".

"Happy New Year Penny" with that they both leaned in for there kiss

It took them being admonished by Sheldon to break apart, turning to there friends surprisingly seeing every one of them looking at them with smiles on three faces well except Sheldon.

"You two okay there? ".

Penny blushed she didn't expect to get so involved with the kiss , but it felt so good to be kissing Leonard again and the fact that Leonard had deepened the kiss made her believe he had missed kissing her as much as she had missed kissing him. Leonard was still recovering from there kiss it had been way more than a new year kiss it felt like Penny was putting everything into the kiss he couldn't remember the last time she had kissed him like that.

Penny seemed to recover from their kiss first " Where fine , why do you ask?" trying to play innocent.

Bernadette was the one to answer for the group " Well it was supposed to be a New Years kiss, but it went on for quite a bit and you both seemed to not want to stop".

This time they both blushed , Leonard cleared his throat " Well anyway what are we going to do now?". Leonard was desperate to get the topic off their kiss.

Sheldon answered " Well i don't know about you people but it's way past my bedtime , so i would like you all to leave". with that he went to the door opening and waiting for them to leave.

Penny didn't want her time with Leonard to end "guys do you wanna come over to my apartment so Sheldon can go to bed?". receiving a nod from every one they left 4A and mover into 4B.

After getting arriving in Penny's apartment, Penny went to the fridge and retrieved a bottle of wine and enough glasses for everyone Bernadette, Howard and Gemma where now sitting on her couch while Raj sat on the chair. Leonard was stood behind her clearly waiting to help taking the glasses from her with a smile " Thanks sweetie". Penny smiled back. After putting the glasses on the coffee table and the bottle of wine , telling them to help themselves to the wine. Leonard went and sat at one on one of the stools in front of the kitchen isle , Penny sat next to him giving him a shy smile.

Gemma looked around at her new friends they where not the kind of people she would normally hang out with well Penny would be. But since knowing Leonard then getting to know the others and all the time they have spent together since Christmas , she had become used to there quirky behavour and she liked them all.

Penny was just observing them chatting among themselves about well anything really , Leonard was the only one who wasn't talking just sitting there next her watching them. Turning to look at him smiling when she saw he was smiling at her, before turning back to look at their friends.

Penny was listening to her friends talking smiling happily at how they all where, when she felt Leonard grab her hand turning to him with surprise he was looking at there friends with a smile . She waited to see if he would remove his hand or look at her but he didn't so she just went back to watching her friends but couldn't help the grin she had on her face from Leonard holding her hand. Her grin grew even wider when she felt him squeeze her hand before moving his fingers to interlink them Penny in that moment was on cloud nine.

Leonard didn't know why he had grabbed Penny's hand maybe it was because of how amazing there kiss had been , it felt so right to hold her hand in his again. He felt her eyes on him when he grabbed her hand but pretended not to notice , after she looked back at the friends he gave her hand a squeeze, and almost on instinct interlinked the fingers.

Bernadette was dong all she could not to squeal when she saw Leonard and Penny holding hands , she hoped this was something that was going to lead them back to where they belong . Amy was smiling too when she saw Leonard and Penny holding hands , she was happy for them she had Sheldon back and would be moving in later today, so she hoped they would reconnect also. Gemma also saw Leonard and Penny holding hands, but she had mixed feelings about it , she still cared deeply for Leonard, but knew he never felt the same. While she did feel jealous at them holding hands she knew that they both still cared for one another, and she hoped they would work things out.

About a hour later Bernadette decided it was time for them all to go home, they all readily agreed except Penny she had enjoyed having Leonard sat next to her but mostly she enjoyed that for all the time Leonard hadn't once let go of her hand , what was surprising was Leonard had been acting like it was the normal thing to do. While Penny was scared to get up or do anything to separate their hands as she was worried that when she came back he wouldn't retake her hand. But now she felt disappointment when Leonard released her hand as they all got up to leave , everyone saying goodbye Penny saying goodbye in return, Leonard was last to the door.

Turning to look at her seeing her smiling " Good night Penny".

Turning back to leave , Penny didn't want him to go so took a risk" Leonard?".

Leonard stopped turning to look at Penny, seeing she seemed nervous " Yeah".

Trying to get her heart under control " Would stay a bit longer i really like to talk to you".

Leonard was torn he did want to stay but at the same time he was still nervous around Penny , god why did things have to be so complicated now he knew he still loved her. He also knew she had hurt him on more than one occasion even if it was true that she never meant to do it.

Seeing the expectant look on Penny's face he knew he couldn't say no to her request , nodding his head " Okay" making his way back over to the couch and taking a seat.

Penny was relieved he was staying she made her way to the couch sitting down next to Leonard now she had to think of how to say what she had been wanting to say for a while.

Deciding to start off with something simple " It's been good seeing you over the last week , i was so happy to see you when you came to Amy's on Christmas Day.

Leonard smiled at this " I remember , i couldn't believe how beautiful i thought you looked".

This made Penny blush " Thank you, you looked quite handsome yourself".

"It was great talking to you that night, i didn't realise how much i missed talking to you".

"I missed you too and had the best time in months when we where talking " looking down " It felt like old times".

Nodding his head " It did didn't it".

Penny took this as a opportunity to ask what she had wanted to since finding out he was no longer seeing Gemma " Could we be that way again?".

Leonard knew what she was getting at, he had to admit he wanted her back too, he never stopped loving her but he was afraid it might happen again, sighing " Penny" pausing for a moment " I don't know".

Penny saw not surprised by his answer after what she had done it was to be expected, but she still wanted to know if they had a future together again " Leonard".

Looking at her now she continued " Will you ever give us another chance?".

Sighing he needed to explain to her why he was reluctant to get back together even though he was still completely in love with her and it was his love for Penny that doomed his relationship with Gemma. He knew that it would be the same with any woman he tries to date, they would always be compared to Penny and he also knew none of them would stand a chance against Penny .

"Penny i'm not sure".

Penny looked at Leonard with a sad pleading look " Why Leonard , I thought you still loved me?".

"I do but i'm scared".

Penny was stunned by his answer " Why are you scared?".

Leonard glanced at her before looking down "Because we were together for eight months then we broke up and I lost you for two years . Then we got back together and I was over the moon especially when you told me you loved me. But I came back from the expedition after missing you for all those months , only to find I had lost you again. So I'm scared now that if we try again I could end up losing you for a third time, Penny my heart won't be able to take that because believe it or not I love you even more now".

Penny had started to cry by this point, she knew she had done this to him what little confidence he had she had destroyed by her action over the years.

"Leonard i'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you I never meant to do it on either occasion, the first time we broke up I was scared to tell you I loved you after you said it to me. I did by the way I just couldn't let go of what had happened to me when I told other guys before you I loved them even though I knew you where different I couldn't let go of the feeling you would. I was so happy when we got back together but I was still scared to tell you I loved you even though I never stopped in the first place , but the fear was still there. What happened with Sheldon was a huge mistake and I shouldn't of let it get any further than the drunken kiss in your bed when I thought he was you. I never wanted to break up with you, but I was miserable and I convinced myself that you wouldn't want me anymore, so when Sheldon kissed me I let him do it.

"Penny I honestly do believe you but apart me thinks that if you could so easily break up with me and then start dating Sheldon it makes me wonder just how much you did love me".

Penny thought she couldn't feel this much pain but she was wrong hearing Leonard doubt her love for him was the most painful thing for her ever, worse she knew there was nothing she could say that would change his mind. Penny could do nothing but break down sobbing ,her heart torn apart ' _This couldn't be it could it ?she didn't know how she was going to cope'_ after finding out he was single again she thought he would give her a chance but reality was she had caused him to much heart ache even though she knew he still loved her he was scared of being hurt again by her.

Leonard hated to see Penny cry because she was right when she said when she cries he cries as well and that was exactly what was happening now. He so wanted to comfort her but he knew if he did he'd never want to let her go and it would leave him open to getting his heart broken by her again. So with tears falling down his cheeks he got up and made his way to the door opening it then stopping to turn back and look at Penny " I'm so sorry Penny". with that he left hoping he'd done the right thing.

 **A/N Thank you for reading this chapter ,I know things look bad but they will get better between them from this point forward, anyway like it or hate it please review .**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews on my previous chapter they are much appreciated .**

The next morning Leonard dragged himself out of bed, he felt awful in more ways than one , as soon as he had gotten home and thought about what he had said to Penny. He had realised he had just truly messed up all she wanted was to give them another chance unfortunately his insecurities had made him fearful of her breaking up with him again. He knew that while it could happen being with Penny again was worth it , besides he doubted he would ever be able to have a serious relationship with any woman because Penny would always be on his mind.

Penny just like Leonard when she woke up had to drag herself out of bed she had cried for what felt like hours after Leonard had left, eventually getting up and going to bed. Unfortunately her sleep was extremely restless as she had dreams or more accurately nightmares of seeing Leonard with another woman as she just looked on unable to do anything.

When Penny finally surfaced she didn't want to do anything at all, all she could remember was how great it had been last night with every one especially Leonard. Their New Years kiss was far more than it should of been but she couldn't help herself it had been a while since she had kissed Leonard and she had missed how good it felt. Then when they came back to her apartment they had sat next to each other, and then he had done something she wasn't expecting he had grabbed her and then intertwine their fingers. Of course her joy at him doing that , had given her the courage to ask him what she had wanted to since she had found out that Leonard and Gemma had broken up. Unfortunately she wasn't expecting the answer he gave , she knew he had been hurt by her but she didn't think it had made him more insecure which made him to scared to give her another chance.

But with a sudden burst of determination she decided she wasn't going to let this be the end for them ,no she was going to see him and tell him how she felt. She would be completely honest with him about everything that had happened since she turned around to see him standing there in the hall the day she moved in. Unfortunately to do this she had know where he was and she had no idea where he lived, so she decided to give a quick round of messages to the gang to see if any of them knew where he lived. Penny let a sigh when they all came back with replies of they had no idea where he lived as he hadn't told them where he lived, there was one last person who might know but she wasn't sure if she should ask. After thinking it over Penny decided she needed to see Leonard and apart from Leonard himself this person was her best bet for it to happen.

Getting her and looking up the contact she wanted, she pressed dial and waited for them to answer, eventually after a few rings they answered "Hello".

Taking a breath first " Hi Gemma it's Penny".

Gemma hadn't looked at the caller ID so hadn't known who was calling now she wished she hadn't " Hi Penny what's up".

Taking another breath hoping that Gemma had the information she needed " Well I was wondering if you know Leonard's address?".

For a moment Gemma considered lying saying she didn't know, but she still cared alot for Leonard and she had seen how Leonard and Penny where around each other, so decided to give Penny the information she wanted " Okay I give you his address".

Penny hung up with a huge grin on her face she now knew where he lived so with her determination to come clean to Leonard about how she has felt about since meeting him she took a quick shower got dressed and left her apartment to go see Leonard.

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Penny arrived outside Leonard apartment block it was huge compared to where he used to and she still did, probably cost a bit to rent as well, taking a one last breath before getting out of her car. As she made her way over to the entrance she kept going over what she would say to him , the only thing she knew for sure was she was going to tell him all her everything. She was going to tell him e everything that she ever thought or felt or did there was going to be no secrets she was going to be completely honest with him. Hoping after she bare her soul to him he would give her a chance to prove her love for him and allow them to be whole again. Unfortunately nature decided to be cruel as Penny had been so engrossed in her thoughts she didn't notice the darkening sky , it all hit her at once when it started the rain felt like a freezing shower. She ran the remaining distance to his apartment but it was futile she was already soaked. Arriving at the entrance she saw that it was locked, her first thought was to buzz Leonard's apartment. However she wanted her visit to be a surprise with rain beating down on her Penny thought about just abandoning her idea. After a few minutes off being soaked she turned to leave but only got a little way before she had a idea, rushing back she buzzed someone on his floor.

She received a tired sounding response " Hello".

"Hi erm I was wondering if you could do me a favour my friend lives on your floor in apartment 48 and I want to surprise him could you maybe let me in?".

There was no reply Penny was just about to abandon her surprise and just contact Leonard , but she didn't have to as the door released show she could come in. She got into the elevator pushing the button for the fourth floor. Once arriving on the floor she quickly scanned the apartments odds on one side eves on the other this meant Leonard's was at the end. She walked down to the last door looking at the number 48 seeing how it looked similar to 4B _'did he choose this apartment deliberately ?'_ she thought _._ Shaking her head it was probably just a coincidence , taking one last calming breath she slowly knocked on the door.

* * *

Leonard was sat on the couch where he'd been since getting up cursing himself for what had happened last night , while what he told her was true he was scared if they tried again she could hurt him again. He was still madly in love with her and that would never change, so why couldn't he bring himself to of at least thought it through before telling her no. He couldn't get it out of his head hearing Penny cry tore at his heart and he wished he had gone back to her , how long did she cry for after he left? he didn't know. But he knew it could of been a while maybe she even cried herself to sleep, he hated Penny being upset and he hated himself even more for being the one to upset her.

Leonard was brought out of his self loathing by the sound of someone knocking on his door, frowning at who it could be he got up and made his way over to the door opening without checking to see who it was first. Leonard's eyes went wide when he saw who was standing at his door if he had been asked who it could be he would never of guessed in a million years it would be her, he just stood staring at Penny, she was soaking wet and yet somehow she still looked beautiful, he noticed her shiver " Penny come in and lets get you out of those clothes".

Penny smiled as Leonard went wide eyed at the realisation of what he said sounded like"I didn't mean like that" making him blush.

Still smiling " It's okay Leonard , I know what you meant".

After ushering her in and closing the door he turned to her " Come on I'll give you some cloths to wear after you've had a shower to warm you up".

Penny smiled "Thank you Leonard".

Giving her a small smile back "You're welcome, come on lets go". Leonard led Penny to the spare room "Okay I'll be back in a sec". Leonard left her whilst he fetched what she needed . Returning in less than a minute with a pair of sweatpants and top along with his robe" Here you go, sorry I only have the one robe".

Smiling as she took his robe from him "It's okay ".

Smiling back "Okay well i'll leave you to get undressed , just leave your clothes in here and i'll wash and dry them whilst your in the shower".

Penny nodded" Thanks again Leonard".

" You're welcome" turning to leave so she could get undressed, he was just about at the door when Penny called him" Leonard".

Stopping he turned back to her " Yes Penny".

"Erm I was wondering if I could maybe borrow a pair of your boxers as well" Penny asked blushing slightly.

Just the thought of Penny wearing his underwear made him blush "Sure I'll just go and get you a pair" with that he left shutting the door behind him. Penny smiled she had seen his blush at what she'd asked ,but she was brought out of any further though on it when she shivered which made her quickly strip out of her clothes then putting on Leonard's robe. Whilst she always thought it was ugly she had to admit it was soft against her skin. Pulling it tighter she inhaled the scent of Leonard that lingered on the robe , doing so brought back both happy and sad memories for her. She hoped that after there conversation she could add to those happy memories of him, she was brought out of her thoughts by Leonard knocking on the door.

"Penny is it okay to come in?".

Instead of answering she opened the door , smiling when she saw him blush, at least she still had that effect on him, Leonard stretched his arm with the pair of boxers in his hand. "Here's a pair of my boxers for you to wear".

Smiling "Thank you sweetie, I'll just take them into the bathroom with the clothes I'm borrowing".

Leonard nodded to her "Okay" Penny then turned around and picked up her wet clothes handing them to Leonard " Here are my clothes thanks again for doing this".

Taking them from her "No problem i'll go wash these now, the bathroom is the first door to your left when you come out of this room, I've put extra towels in thee , sorry I don't have a hair dryer".

"That's okay i'll just rap my hair in a towel" Leonard nodded "Okay, " smiling one last time "Well i'll leave you to it then". with that he walked off , Penny went to the door he mentioned. Upon opening it she was surprised how nice a bathroom it was, she quickly shed Leonard's robe turning on the shower getting in quickly letting the hot water warm her up.

Leonard put Penny's wet clothes into his washing machine before going over to his couch and sitting down, waiting for either Penny to finish in the bathroom or the washing cycle to finish. Whilst he sat there he couldn't get over how it made him feel seeing Penny stood there in just his robe, he also wondered what she wanted and what she was going to say to him when she came out.

Penny finally came out and Leonard couldn't help but smile as he watched her make her way over to him wearing his robe again but now and knowing she had one of his t shirts on and was wearing his sweat pants. Penny saw Leonard''s smile and naturally smiled back at him before looking down at herself then back at Leonard "What?".

"Nothing it's just that this is the first time you have ever worn any of my clothes".

Still smiling" Well i might start doing it more often they are after all quite comfy".

Smiling back at her "Well i'd be lying if i said you don't look better in them than me".

This made Penny's smile turn into a grin " I do don't i". Penny made her way over to the couch and sat down next to Leonard, she sat there trying to will herself to do what she had planned on doing since she got up . Finally she turned to Leonard who was waiting patiently for her to tell him why she was here.

"Okay Leonard i'm going to completely honest with you now because i don't want there to be any secrets between us and i hope after hearing what i'm about to tell you. I hope it'll allow you to give us another chance of being together again. But i need you to promise me something first".

Leonard just looked at her he was quite intrigued by her wanting to reveal things to him she never had" Okay what do you want me to promise for?".

"I need to get all of this out while i have the courage to do so some of it is going to upset you, so promise me you'll let me finish the part i'm telling you before you say anything no matter how upset it makes you."

Leonard was slightly worried about what she had to say that could possible upset him but he still wanted to hear what she had to say " Okay Penny i promise to hear you out no matter how upset i get".

Penny hoped he was telling the truth because she knew somethings she was going to say would hurt and upset him especially what she had planned on doing before the first time she told him she loved him.

"Okay i'm going to tell you things about how i felt , but i'm not sure in what order to tell you".

Giving her a reassuring smile "How about just start from the beginning".

Nodding her head "Okay , the first day i met you i knew there was something different about you compared to other guys, you where so kind and sweet but also nervous and shy which i found adorable. I quickly trusted you and we became friends and i enjoyed hanging out with you over the next few weeks i found myself wanting to come over to your apartment more. At the time i was confused as to why i was so drawn to you, i got my first answer when Sheldon asked me something i didn't understand then asked me to come over, which turned out to be you hooking up with Leslie.

Leonard looked surprised "Sheldon brought you over to ask what i was doing?".

Shaking her head"No when Sheldon brought me over he showed me the tie and wanted to know what it meant, i tried to explain it to him , whilst stood there we over heard Leslie call you a magnificent beast".

This made me uncomfortable so we went back to the living room, i asked Sheldon who was with you in there , he made some comment then said it was Leslie. I was surprised at hearing that and at how uncomfortable it made me feel. The next morning when i saw you i tried to get you to tell me what you got up to but you kept avoiding it. Well until i pretty much told you i knew what you been up to, what shocked me though was when i asked you was it serious do you like her?. I was genuinely nervous of your answer , deep down i hoped you'd say it wasn't but you again avoided the question. Then when i saw you at The Cheesecake factory and asked you how things where with you and Leslie, you told me it wasn't going to work out. I felt sorry for you but at the same time happy you where not together so much so that when i left your table i put my hand on your back and had a smile on my face .

Leonard was stunned at what she just told him" Penny i didn't realise that me being with Leslie would bother you so much".

"It's okay Leonard you didn't know and i wasn't going to tell you because i didn't understand it myself at the time".

"Anyway next was my Halloween party you looked so cute in your outfit i know i never said anything at the time about what you wearing but you had the best outfit out of all the guys. Then when you stood up to Kurt i was stunned no one does that yet here you where standing up to the same guy who had stolen yours and Sheldon's pants when you tried to get my tv for me.I was so disappointed when you left you looked so sad i just wanted to hug you, i decide to come over and see how you where doing maybe try and comfort you. Yet you ended up comforting me instead" .

Smiling "When you called me perfect i knew you truly meant it even though i know i wasn't you thought i did and it made me feel so amazing. So i just had to kiss you , i would of taken it further if you hadn't of stopped me, i was surprised you did i don't know any guy who would stop what could of happened. Yet you respected me cared for me too much to try and take advantage of me , like i told you then you're a great guy and more guys should be like you. There is something i have to confess though i wasn't as drunk as you seem to think i was , i knew exactly what i was doing the alcohol i guess only gave me the courage to do something deep down i wanted to do".

Leonard just sat there with a smile on his face " I will always remember that night not for the bad but for the good tings , like how you looked in the cat outfit but mainly for what was our first kiss. Leonard smiled disappeared " Penny even if i knew you weren't as drunk as you made me believe i still wouldn't of taken advantage of you, i had too much respect for you do that".

Smiling at him "I know Leonard that's why i said i wish all guys where like you".

When i told you i wanted to go home for the holidays but couldn't afford too, you went ahead and bought me the plane tickets , i couldn't believe that someone i'd only known a couple of months would do that for me.

Leonard shrugged"I saw how sad you where that you couldn't go so i had to do something to help i didn't do it for any other reason than just helping a friend".

Smiling "I know Leonard, it was a wonderful gesture".

Penny stopped smiling "Then there was when Sheldon's sister turned up and all you guys attention was on her, again i was surprised at how it bothered me that your attention was on another woman instead of me. It reminded me how i felt when you hooked up with Leslie, it bothered me so much that when i left with her I made a point of letting you know i wasn't happy about being ignored. So just before i closed the door i turned around and said goodbye Leonard, i was trying to remind you that i was there too.

Leonard nodded "I remember i heard it in the tone of your voice that you weren't best pleased, but in my defense you where dating Mike at the time".

Nodding "I was, and i know now that it was bothering me because i was jealous , just back then i was in denial about it whenever you where interested in some other woman instead of me, and it wasn't the first or the last time i'd feel that way".

Penny started smiling again "Then there was your birthday, it was so sad that you had never had a birthday party, so i decided to do something about it, i got the guys to help me plan a surprise party for you. I invited friends of mine to come and join so there was more than just the guys there for you when we yelled surprise to you. But unfortunately when you finally turned up everyone had already left , i only asked Howard to keep you away until i got back from taking Sheldon to get you a present. I'm sorry about that i so wanted you to get to experience a surprise birthday party at least one birthday party , did you know i was supposed to be working that day and going out that night with Mike. But i got my shift changed so i could be there on your birthday, i asked Mike to come to the party instead of going out but all he did was moan about being there. So when i told him he could leave, he wanted me to leave also but i told him i wasn't going anywhere, he just got in a huff and stormed out of the apartment. When you did finally come home i could see even though you where trying to hide it that you where disappointed in missing your birthday party. At least when i wished you Happy Birthday it gave me an excuse to kiss you, i'm surprised you didn't realise that my kiss was more than just a friendly kiss"

Leonard smiled "I only figured out what was going on when Howard and i got to my door, i was so excited to have my first surprise birthday party actually first birthday party ever. So when i came in and found Raj singing and you and Sheldon asleep but no one else , i was disappointed not because i didn't get a birthday party but that i missed it. I was surprised when you kissed me on the lips after wishing me happy birthday, i liked it so much i wanted to return the favour so that's why i asked you when your birthday was".

Penny looked thoughtful for a moment "Then there was when you asked me out after i broke up with Mike, i was surprised you where asking me out but also happy which i found strange considering i had only just ended my previous relationship. Most women would be annoyed about being asked out so soon yet i wasn't and i now know it was because it was you i wouldn't of said yes to any one else. However i was nervous about us going on a date i was worried we would ruin our friendship but i also didn't want to change my mind so i asked Sheldon his opinion. He told me about Schrödinger's cat more than once when i finally understood what he was saying that going out with you could be both good and bad but without actually going on the date i wouldn't now. When you turned up you looked so handsome and so nervous , i started to worry if i was making the right decision in going on a date with you. So i wanted to talk to you first to ease my nerves but you then asked me about Schrödinger's cat, then when i told you i had heard way to much about Schrödinger's cat you kissed me. Leonard you might not believe me but that kiss you gave me was the most memorable kiss i have ever had i still remember everything about it even now. ".

Smiling Leonard nodded " I was nervous about our date too, and just like you asked Sheldon for advice " shaking his head" I have no idea why i'd go to him for advice but just like for you he brought up Schrödinger's cat. When you opened your door i was sure i was going to have a panic attack you looked so beautiful but then you always do. When you said maybe we should talk first it made me more nervous , so i asked you had you heard of Schrödinger's cat, and when you said you had heard to much about Schrödinger's cat. It gave me the courage to kiss you".

Smiling at him "Well i'm glad you did as i wasn't sure if we had gone on our date if you hadn't, speaking of our first date it was not what i was expecting".

Leonard waited to hear what she was going to say about there first date, so far she had done nothing but surprise him, finding out she had been jealous of him being interested in other women. Then telling him how much those kisses had meant to her , he was definitely looking forward to hearing more of how she felt about things and him.

 **A/N: Thank you for reading this chapter i hope it was okay, i will forewarn you that next maybe couple of chapters will be a continuation of what this chapter started. I just want Penny to tell Leonard how she has felt about things that have happened over the years that we have seen ,i know it might not sound interesting but i believe it's necessary for her to prove how she feels about Leonard.**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N First i want to aplogise for the delay in continuing this or any of my stories I haven't been very motivated of late , but after getting a pm from Luminous , I decided to put some effort in so thanks Luminous . Thank you to everyone who reviewed my last chapter i can't believe i've gotten a 100 reviews for this story thank to everyone who made that possible and a shout out to Chuk49 congratulations on being my 100th review.**

* * *

Smiling at him "Well i'm glad you did as i wasn't sure if we had gone on our date if you hadn't, speaking of our first date it was not what i was expecting".

Leonard waited to hear what she was going to say about there first date, so far she had done nothing but surprise him, finding out she had been jealous of him being interested in other women. Then telling him how much those kisses had meant to her , he was definitely looking forward to hearing more of how she felt about things and him. Leonard then realised what she had just said and looked at her curiously " What do you mean by that?".

"Well usually when i went on dates we talked about random stuff or what things we like and so on, now you did tell me some of this although i already knew some of it with us being friends. You where the first guy ever to talk about his academic background it made me feel inadequate hearing all about your education , so when you asked me about mine i lied".

Leonard looked confused "Why did you lie?".

Penny just looked at him "You know why Sheldon told you i thought you where to smart for me, and i was worried if we dated you would get bored of me. It's the reason i wouldn't let you in my apartment after our date, i wanted to take things slow, when i ran into you the next day and you asked me about going out again i dodged giving you a answer . Because i still wasn't sure if i wanted to risk getting into a relationship with you and have you, then have you after a while get bored of me, of course you put a end to our relationship before it really started".

"Yeah i'm sorry for what i did, but just so you know i didn't mean it to come out the way it did, it's just that after Sheldon told me you where worried you weren't smart enough for me. I thought if you went to college you wouldn't feel like i was too smart for you, i wasn't calling you stupid or anything".

Penny grabbed Leonard's hand" I know you didn't mean it that way , i just used it as a opportunity to end our relationship before it started, because i was so worried that if we dated and you did get bored i would not only lose you as a boyfriend but as a friend also. Anyway after that we didn't see much of each for a few days, until i bumped into to you on the stairs with my date".

Leonard looked sad "Yeah i was surprised when you came down with him Eric i think".

"Yeah, i honestly didn't want to see you there as it was making me uncomfortable and i could see it bothered you too, yet you where still being so nice to me".

"You right i was quite the surprise to see you with Eric, but he was i assumed your date so i didn't want to be mean to him or you".

Penny smiled "I could tell by the way you looked at me that deep down you where hurt seeing me with another guy, but i have to say what i should of said then you did look so cute in that outfit".

"Thanks , i was upset but i thought i had succeeded in not showing it i guess i failed, i did notice you kept glancing at me as well".

"I did i was trying to see how seeing me with Eric was effecting you, and like i said i could see it in your eyes".

Leonard just waved it off "It's fine just like you that wasn't the first or the last time i would be bothered about seeing you with another guy".

Penny continued "Okay, anyway the next day i was heading out to a date with Eric when i found Sheldon the stairs when i asked him why he was there he told me you half a date. I probably felt in that moment the same way you felt when you saw me with Eric, and before i could ask who it was Leslie came in and i have to say it stung a little due the memory of the last time you where with her".

"Then after i came home from my date with Eric, during our walk up the stairs i started talking to him i told him about Schrödinger's cat, he wasn't getting it and just as i was about to explain it again . I saw you with Leslie stood outside your apartment i was a little uncomfortable seeing you with her after your date .

"Well it wasn't good for me either hearing you coming up the stairs talking about Schrödinger's cat, then seeing surprised when you saw me before being awkward then going over to your apartment",

"I guessed i was , but not as much as when you kissed Leslie while i was standing right there".

"Yeah, well i sort of did it to make you jealous but you did the same thing yourself when you started making out with Eric, what you might not know is Leslie knew what i was doing and decided to help which is why we started making out too".

"Yeah i saw so i took it up a notch like you had , then i saw you grab her ass".

Leonard just raised his eye brows "How did you see that?".

"Well i was kinda watching what you where doing whilst kissing Eric, when you finished and went back to your apartment i ended mine too and went in my apartment leaving Eric there only saying ciao".

"So we were both trying to make the other jealous? ".

"Yeah, anyway a couple of days later i saw Sheldon on the stairs again so i guessed you where on another date with Leslie , the reason i am mentioning this is because Sheldon said something i didn't expect".

Leonard was curious "Really what did he say?".

"Well he asked me why i couldn't make it work between us, actually now that i think about my answer, i guess i thought we'd be together one day".

This got Leonard's attention "What was it?".

"Well after he asked me , i said ' I think for now we're just going to be friends' so i guess i was already on my path to falling for you".

The surprises just kept on coming for Leonard , he also decided to tell her something about that night "Just so you know me and Leslie broke up that night".

It was Penny's turn to be surprised "Oh i actually didn't know that but i guess that explains why i never saw her again, anyway after that things between us where back to the way they where before our date. Until you told me about Stephanie, i made sure i was supportive of your relationship , even though yet again i was a little jealous i still had you as my friend and i was okay with that well so i believed".

Shaking her head"Although Sheldon didn't help matters".

Leonard frowned "What did he do?".

"Well he told me you where in a relationship with her , then he told me that she was the only one of your partners he could tolerate including me, he told me to stay away from you if i basically was horny".

Leonard didn't know what to think "Why would he say such things to you?".

"I guess he was worried that i'd ruin your relationship with Stephanie, anyway one morning i got up and was desperate for coffee but had none so just strolled on over to yours knowing you would. When i came in a saw a woman there i guessed it was Stephanie turns out i was right , i have to say when she asked who i was and i found out you hadn't mentioned me i was a little hurt. But it was funny watching you tying yourself in knots as to why you hadn't mentioned me , then when you came out and said i haven't slept with i swear. I thought not a good thing to say to your girlfriend, i did my best not to laugh at you making things worse for yourself. After she left and Sheldon told me that you where living together i was shocked ,surprised and disappointed by it you hadn't been dating that long why where you living together. So i had to see for myself if it was true and it turned out you hadn't even noticed she had moved her stuff into your bedroom and you where so adorable denying it up until you noticed your bat signal was missing".

Leonard chuckled slightly "Yeah i couldn't believe i hadn't noticed any of that until you pointed it out to me, also Penny that was the first and only time you ever came into our apartment without getting dressed. I did wonder after if you knew she was there and came over dressed like that for coffee just so you could finally see what she was like, i'll be honest it took a lot for me not to stare at you in what you where wearing".

This made Penny smile "Well at least you admit you noticed , i'm glad Howard wasn't there though".

Leonard nodded "Yeah he would of made some lewd comment then you'd of threatened him ".

"I sure would, anyway what you don't know when i got back home i couldn't get the thought of you living with her out of my head all i could think of was that if she's living with you you aren't going to break up anytime soon. So i was surprised when i was doing laundry and you came in putting the pants in the washing machine and not caring if they got ruined. I knew something was bothering you when you told me it was about Stephanie living with you i have to admit i was glad you weren't too into her living with you. Anyway i gave you advice on the subject which i hoped would help you out although i was secretly hoping my advice would end your relationship" looking away shyly " Sorry".

Leonard frowned "Why would you want that to happen it wasn't like you where waiting for me to be single.".

Sighing "I know but i thought that her moving in without asking you was wrong and i was worried she might get to clingy with you and stop you hanging around with me".

Leonard's frowned softened" I guess i understand where you are coming from".

Smiling again "Thanks, how did you two end up breaking up anyway?".

"Well i took your advice and told her i wasn't comfortable with her living with me then i went to see her we had sex and i never heard from her again she just started ignoring me".

It was Penny's turn to frown" That's not very nice".

Leonard just shrugged" I guess but i wasn't upset about so i guess my feelings for her weren't that strong".

Penny nodded" Anyway then there was the time Sheldon lent me some money because i was broke, and you came over to my apartment and helped me cut some corners. But the thing i remember most is when i said i would have to find a cheaper place you where trying to persuade me not to i thought it was cute you didn't want me leaving. Then you suggested i get a room mate and when i asked if you knew anybody you suggested yourself" Penny smiled" You know i was only half joking when i said if we lived together i wouldn't be able to keep my hands off you". I pretend i was just acting but after you left i couldn't stop thinking about you and i sharing a apartment together and what could happen".

"Really but if that's the case why did you not want me to live with you when i moved in?".

Sighing "That's something i'll explain in a bit, but for now i'll say to me there is a difference between thinking of you living with me and you actually living with me".

Leonard nodded " I guess i understand what you're saying".

"Good, now next came the time your mother showed up" Leonard's eyes widened as he remembered there almost hook up,Penny saw his expression and smiled. "I thought you'd remember that ".

"How can i not i never knew drinking tequila could get so hot".

"It doesn't i had never done anything like that before, but once again alcohol allowed how I felt about you to come out and that's why I came up with having you lick salt off my neck. It felt so good and when you turned to drink your shot i slipped the lime into my mouth hoping you would catch on luckily you did. Penny' smile faded "Everything was going great until you mention your mother whilst we were in bed".

Sighing Leonard replied "Yeah that was a stupid thing for me to do i was on the verge of having sex with you and I ruin it by opening my mouth, I should of shushed like you asked".

"I was so angry that you were comparing us having sex to us wanting to do it with our parents".

"That's not what i meant Penny, I just meant it was us getting back at my mother and your father, I didn't mean it the way it came out".

"Anyway the next day when i got up I felt awful for throwing you out of my apartment, so after I got ready for work I was going to come over and talked to you and let you know things where okay between us". However when I came out I saw you with your mother and when you saw me you looked so sad, so I was going to talked to you about it even with your mother there. But you said you didn't want to talk about ever, which I was greatfull for it because I really didn't want your mother hearing about what happened".

"After that things between us settled down we where just friends and for the moment I was okay with it, until the day our new neighbour moved in upstairs".

"I hated her from pretty much the moment we met, but I was again jealous that you where paying attention to some other woman rather than me, although i pretended it was her i was jealous of. But truth was it was you hanging around her and doing stuff for her that i was jealous of".

"I got dressed up and went to visit her at her apartment after going over to yours and finding out from Sheldon that you weren't there and where in fact upstairs with Howard and Raj. When i got there i so hoped you would notice how i was dressed but you didn't seem to and that bothered me alot . Not to mention when she asked you to set up her printer you agreed and when i reminded you you had yet to set up mine you snapped at me. I was shocked by that you had never been that way with me, but what really bugged me was when she called you cutie and you liked it. I needed to get your attention back on me so I told you as joke which I didn't realise at the time was insulting".

Leonard just sat there and listened he didn't realise his hanging around with Alicia would bother Penny so much " I'm sorry about that i didn't mean to snap at you and just for the record i did notice how you looked".

Penny smiled "You did?".

Leonard smiled back" Of course you looked so beautiful in that light blue dress and with a yellow Penny blossom in your hair , and just so you know you where much prettier than she ever could be.

Penny blushed "Thankyou, anyways this carried on for a few days with you guys spending all that time doing stuff for her and hardly spending time in 4a or with me. I really missed hanging out with you. So one day i decided to get takeout for you guys and then asked if you liked to do somethings afterwards".

Sighing "Unfortunately there was a knock on the door and it was Alicia asking you for a lift because her car had broke down, and to make things worse you agreed to do it without a second thought. I was so disappointed that you where leaving i'd hardly spent any time with you since she had moved in and the first evening we do she takes you away from me".

Hearing all this was making Leonard uncomfortable he had no idea how much him hanging around Alicia had clearly upset Penny but he remembered something from back then "Penny why did you end up fighting with her?".

Penny thought back "I was in the laundry room when she came in a told me how she had gotten a part in a show , then as she was about to leave told me how you guys where going to paint a room for her. Well i didn't like her taking advantage of you guys so i told her how you guys are naive and please don't take advantage of them, she of course denied it. But i pointed out that she was leading you guys on and getting you to do things for her, she then accused me of doing the same thing saying she had seen me around you guys. That was it for me i told her she had crossed a line then she said what are you going to do about it bitch, that's when i saw red and our fight started.

Again this was something he hadn't known the fight was because she was standing up for them for him. "You know when you appeared with her fighting I wanted to stop it but Howard grabbed my arms , I hated seeing you fighting more so when she punched you in the mouth. I managed to work my way free to try and stop the fight but then Raj grabbed me as well as Howard to stop me but when she punched you in the eye that was too much. I forced my way free, but it was too late she had already got up claiming victory and stormed off up stairs, I went over to help you up and take you to your apartment".

Penny smiled " I remember that you where so tender when you where taking care of me, even though my face hurt I was happy because you where mine again and all your attention was on me".

"She was wrong you about you know ".

Penny looked curious "What do you mean?".

You are nothing like her, she just lead us on to get us to do things for her, but she didn't do anything for us. You though did, you invited us to your Halloween party , you played HALO with us, you helped me pick out something to wear for my presentation and came to watch it aswell. You came and watched us at physics bowl, you arranged a surprise birthday party for me, you bought us Christmas presents and of course you went on a date with me. So no you are nothing like her you are a much nicer person. I hope I never see you have a fight again once was enough".

Penny blushed "Thank you , also she was lucky if we hadn't of tripped and her getting the upper hand i'd of kicked her ass".

Smiling "I have no doubt you would of".

Penny smiled backed but it soon faded when she began to talk again "One morning Sheldon came to my apartment asking to use the cheesecake Factories walk in freezer. When I asked him why he aid it was to train for a expedition to the North Pole and that you where all going , I honestly couldn't get my head around it . So just walked over to your apartment and when I saw you asked if you where going to the North Pole, when you said you where i was actually upset you never told me, even though i said i was okay".

I couldn't get the thought you leaving for the North Pole and not getting to see you for three months out of my head ,so I drank a lot of wine to try and distract myself. Then later on I was watching infomercial and one came up for a snoodle and blanket with sleeves and all i could think of was that you could you use one of them whilst at the North Pole. It was a couple o days later when it arrived and i brought it over for you to take on your trip you put it on and looked so adorable with it on. I realised that it was probably the last time i was going to see you for three months so i told you i was going to miss you a gave you a hug which i didn't want to end".

Smiling "I remember I was surprised by how long the hug lasted and with you saying you where going to miss me, it made me have second thoughts about going".

Penny looked at him surprised "It did?".

Nodding "Yeah I thought it meant something so the next morning when we whee about to leave I needed to know what it all meant so I went over to talk to you".

Penny nodded yeah I was not expecting to see you before you left so I was surprised to see you plus you know it was early in the morning which you know I don't like".

Smiling "Yeah I know but I was desperate to talk to you before I left I really needed to know what it meant , of course the answers you gave i'll have to say left me a little disappointed ".

Penny cocked her head "What you expecting me to say?".

"Well I was hoping you would say that you gave me the blanket and the long hug because you where going to miss me and maybe tell me you didn't want me to go" Shrugging his shoulders" .

Penny went wide eyed and Leonard noticed "What's wrong ?".

Penny could do nothing but stare but she knew she had to tell him she was going to be honest with so she might as well tell him this, looking away " I didn't want you to go".

Leonard just looked at her surprised "Really?".

Nodding her head "Really, after you said goodbye and I closed my door , I rested my head against the door and whispered ' It means I wish you weren't going' I just couldn't admit it to you".

Leonard was in shock he had been right back then, Penny hadn't wanted him to go but he needed to know why she couldn't admit it and what changed by the time he came back. "Penny why couldn't you tell me ?".

Penny eyes started to well with tears "Because I was scared "

Leonard could see she was on the verge of crying, so he did what he always did he pulled her into a hug for her and for him to hide his own tears as he felt Penny shake as she let her tears flow.

After a few minutes Penny calmed down, Leonard was beyond stunned by what she said "You really didn't want me to go, why didn't you say anything, and what where you scared of?".

Penny squeezed Leonard tight before answering she knew what she was about to say could lead to alot more questions . "Because i had recently realised that my feelings for you had changed I was no longer confused about what you meant to me and I now knew I wanted to be with you. However I was scared just like after our first date that if it didn't work out I could lose you as a friend even though now I really wanted to be with you. But then I found out you had to go on the expedition and I knew if I told you how I felt you end up not going and as much as that appealed to me I knew you would regret it so that's why I didn't say anything".

Leonard didn't know how to react finding that Penny wanted to be with him but at the same time was worried that if it didn't work out she would lose him, he had no answer to that. Fortunately he didn't have to as Penny decided to continue, Penny was upset at the memory of when Leonard was going away for three months but she had to admit being held by Leonard felt amazing.

"Those three months where the worst, I couldn't help but miss you and some days wished i'd been selfish and told you how I felt so you would stay. I tried to distract myself from thinking about you by going out with friends and getting drunk" Penny felt Leonard tense up at that. "Don't worry I only got drunk nothing more although it didn't stop my friends from trying to set me up or for guys to hit on me. But everytime it happened I rejected them as I couldn't stop thinking of you and I wanted to see if it could work out between us first. The months seemed to go by slowly and i couldn't help constantly thinking about you and counting down the days till you where back".

Penny pulled away enough so she could look at Leonard and she started to smile "Then one day I was sitting in my apartment when there was a knock on the door. When I opened it there you stood all wild haired and bushy bearded , I was so happy to see you that I let my heart make the decision and I launched myself at you and kissed you".

Leonard smiled "Yeah I had missed you all the time I was away and to be honest was scared that when I came back i'd find you dating some guy, but I still wanted to see you none the less. So after i knocked on and you opened the door then kissed me and pulled me into your apartment I was over the moon I had waited so long for something like this to happen. Although I thought it wasn't going to go anywhere with the fact we kept getting interrupted by Sheldon and by him running away".

Sighing a little he looked at her "Then after we first did it whilst I was so happy to have it happen it wasn't as great as i'd hoped " he saw Penny frown "It wasn't you it was me I had this fantasy of how it would be and it didn't live up to it. Then when we tried to do it it again you suggested alcohol to relax us and take the edge off unfortunately we ended up getting too drunk to do anything".

"Then Sheldon told me he had talked to you I got worried and went straight over to see you, that's when you said it shouldn't be this hard and we could remains friends". Leonard started grinning "Fortunately neither of us really wanted to just be friends " his grinned turned mischievous" then when we did it again all I can say is wow".

Penny was grinning too "Yeah i'm glad we tried again that second time was amazing , so much so we broke my bed".

Leonard laughed "Yeah I can honestly say i've never had that happen before , luckily we didn't injure our selves".

Penny grinned mischievously "Yes especially since when we crashed to the floor we where still you know connected". I was happy though you where now my boyfriend ". I was surprised when I got home the next day and found a envelope with a thank you letter ALL eleven pages of it, no guy has ever thanked me for having sex with them".

Leonard shrugged "What can I say you where are the best i've ever had".

Penny blushed and looked at Leonard shyly "Thank you" there was silence for a moment before Penny took the opportunity to end the hug they had been sharing since she got upset. Turning to Leonard putting a hand on his knee "Our relationship was great apart from a few ups and downs. Like when you got all jealous when a friend of mine came to stay".

Leonard sighed " I wasn't jealous just upset that you failed to tell me that a ex of yours who was definitely not gay was going to be staying in your apartment. Instead of talking about it you just got mad at me and started accusing me of thinking you where stupid. ".

Shaking her head "Yeah I could be pretty stubborn back then and quick to anger, but I was upset that you had issues with my friend staying and when you said the word stupid . I just lost it even though I knew you hadn't called me stupid, and that you had point".

Nodding his head "Yeah but what surprised me was the next day when I saw you you expected me to apologise to you , that stunned me I was upset about you having a ex staying in your apartment but somehow I had to apologise ".

Penny just looked down "Like I said I can be stubborn , I knew you where upset but in my mind I had done nothing wrong and nothing would happen with my ex. So I didn't understand your problem so to me you where in the wrong and that's why I thought you should apologise".

"Okay so why did the next time I saw you was when you came storming into my apartment accusing me of lots of things and of not trusting you?".

"Well Sheldon had come to the Cheesecake Factory telling me to apologise to you and he mentioned how you overlook my faults and after hearing what he said I was pissed ".

"Look Penny Sheldon should never of said anything to you about that sure there where things you did that I didn't like but I could live with them , but that didn't mean I didn't trust you".

Penny just nodded "I know that now, it's just I was wound up at the time , but at least we solved the issue in the end".

"Yeah I honestly don't know why I didn't think of letting him stay at my in the first place".

Smiling at him "Because you got jealous and weren't thinking straight".

Leonard just nodded , Penny continued " Our relationship was great and being honest it was the best relationship I had been in by that time I think it was because you seemed so happy to be with me".

Leonard smiled " I was, I had been dreaming about it for ages ".

Penny smiled back " You where a amazing boyfriend sure we had a few problems but we got past them " suddenly Penny's smile disappeared " Then you told me you loved me".

* * *

 **Okay that's it for this chapter again i apologise for the delay and that these chapters just look like rehashes of what happened on the show but i wanted to do it this way to give Penny a chance to explain how she felt . Just to let you know the next few will be the same as this it's all tied in with the title of the story and i will be doing Leonard aswell so if you notice certain events missing from the show that's why.**


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